Borrowed a book from Sally that was recommended by my other friend Kylie. It's called Why men love bitches. It's a fantastic read, especially to girls, who are always there for the men. (Sad to say I am guilty of that when I'm in a relationship) Girls who are nice, who always try to overcompensate by doing extras for the men, often have men running in the other direction for other women. Other women who sometimes are so fugly, you go...
"WHY?!?!?! She's so fugly and yet has a man, and I AM STILL SINGLE?!?!?!"
It's not rocket science, really. From past relationships, you know that the more you ignore a man, the more you make him go for the hunt, the more affectionate he becomes. And in fact he starts paying more attention to you.
I asked S if he thinks I was tooooo nice that he stepped all over me.
His answer,"No, I just wasn't in the mood when you visited."
Translation: Yes, you were such an easy target that I had you at my beck and call.
Well, now that we have a 10,000 miles distance between us, 8 hour time difference, broken up, and with me mostly stressed out with no work and so not really bothering with him, he seems to pay a little more attention, with regular pepperings of "I miss you." He even said he would have driven to London to see me, if I was there. (Hmmm talk is cheap, even at the height when the relationship was hot, hot, hot!! he wouldn't even do a 3 hour drive to Surrey).
Anyway, today he is back to his usual self, "I wouldn't even go to Bath to see you today."
That's his affection-o-meter. Talk about women being moody. Men are like 1,000,000,000,000x worst. S was in mostly that mood when I was in Bath the one year. He needed time to sort out his thinking. And the moment I moved 3 boxes of my life possessions back to Singapore and cut off all links in the UK, he's suddenly cleared his thinking about me. (And I am STILL waiting to hear what that verdict is) Not that I think things can work out between us now, or ever, but with him sometimes being affectionate, my resolve to stay split melts a little.
Back to the book. It's about self-respect. About loving yourself enough not to let others treat you bad. And I think that's what I have to learn. If they can't make time for you, sod them. Girlfriends or boyfriends alike.
That's when I told S that it's best he go to gym to get some happy hormones in him cos I wouldn't get on any plane to see him either.
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