i've had it

with this stupid job that keeps me working all the time. Last 4-5 weeks I've been working from 9.30 - 10 or 11 pm. And I have to work at least 1 day of the weekend, if it's good weekend.

I feel guilty on weekends that I am not working. And I wake up in the middle of the nite panicking over the fact that I've not written my edm or proposal. I hardly have time to do anything for myself. Usually after I've thought of something I want to try - baking, shopping, picking up a book to read - it has to be done like 2-3 weeks down the road, and only if I manage to squeeze in time to do it.

This weekend, I have to do a proposal due for a client presentation at 3pm tomorrow. But, I had just finished major presentation last Wednesday (with much of that presentation done on previous weekend), Thursday was to catchup with bits of other projects that had been left hanging in the air, and so was Friday, when some clients, once again expected me to turn around in 2 hours. So when Friday evening came, my eyes were tearing from staring at the computer for so long. I decided to take a break shopping and having dinner with my cousin.

Sat came. I have my cake decor class, and after that shopped for xmas presents, and then off to my friend's place for xmas tea. I dropped off a cake with my sister, and decided to stay on for a while to see the little rascals, since I've been away for the past week and haven't seen them. Got home I literally collapsed on my bed cos I was so tired.

Sunday - brought the little girl out to buy Christmas presents, and then to my sis's place to see the boy for a while. Then home at 5pm, took out my laptop and started working till 12. Haven't been productive cos I just feel so pissed off half the time that I have to work. It is really time. I just need to go. I can't bear the thought of even another 2 months on this job.

Sigh.

Anyway hear this song on the British charts. Am sure this is not the real MTV, but the song's funny and catchy.

just a little different

Today is the last time that the rascals will come over after school, hang out at mama's house before going home at 7. Sure, most days I'm not here to witness them having fun (or feeling completely bored out of their minds) but like my mom said, they've always come cover, since they were 3 months old.

So that's probably the end of the rascals sleeping on my bed, or playing on my computer.

Or my mom fettering over what to cook for rascals' dinners. And cute little drawings on the white bored. My buying stuff for them to munch on.

It's gonna be a little different around here now.

choices

In life, we're often not allowed to always take the path we want.

Our obligations to our parents don't allow us to sometimes lead the kind of life we want.

Our lack of money limits our choices on the things we can buy. Experiences we can enjoy

Life's tough. We can't always have want we want. And I can accept that.

But I think when it comes to things like choosing death to end your suffering when you are suffering from a painful terminal illness I think it is one choice that no one should deny another. No one will ever be able to understand the pain - both emotional and physical - that the sick person feels. If I am hurting, unbearable pain, with no hope of ever getting better, shouldn't I have the right to end my life?

Sky TV showed a programme in the UK about a man ending his life. Never mind the argument about using this to boost TV ratings, just listen to what the man has to say.

Before his death, Mr Craig Ewert said: "I'd like to continue. The thing is that I really can't.

"I can't take that risk, that's choosing to be tortured rather than end this journey and start the next one.

"If I go through with it, I die, as I must at some point.

"If I don't go through with it, my choice is to suffer, for my family to suffer and then die.

"The fact that I know the date I'm going to die simply makes definite what was previously indefinite."

He added: "When you are completely paralysed, can't talk, can't walk, can't move your eyes, how do you let someone know that you are suffering?"

11.53pm

Waiting for a file to be sent back to me from my colleague before I hit the sack. I'm sure it'll require me to do another 1-2 more hours of work before I can actually sleep.

Dead tired. Worked on Sunday, and yesterday, which was a public holiday. And of cos my whole weekend was ruined cos at the back of my head, I thought, dang, got to do work.

So when does this torture end? Don't know man. I so want 19 Dec to come. I go on leave then, for over 1 week - isn't that great? Will be in Bintan, 4 glorious days of beach. Quite nights and mornings. It'll be fantastic.

Just on a random off topic, here's a video clip of B1 swimming.

a sense of achievement

My very first decorated cake. Hahahha, either my standards have fallen so low, or that I have been looking for success in the wrong places. But anyway, this rainbow/clown fully iced cake was done by me. From scratch. From baking the cake at 2am last nite, to waking at 8 this morning to prepare icing and ice the cake.

It's fun decorating cakes. But the problem is, no one in my family likes sweet icing. So with one cake coming their way every week, I'm not sure if they'll OD on cakes before I am done with the course!

completely creepy

I was just rummaging through some stuff in my little ole' cupboard of trash, and came across a fortune teller's reading. This was from the first fortune telling session that I've ever been to. And this was in 2004.

This was the guy who predicted that I would have a long distance relationship. Which, at that point in time when I heard the reading I was going "yeah, right, that's gonna happen. poooey!"

And just now I re-read the piece of paper, which had one prediction on it - Study in 2006, reap benefits at age 36.

That is so completely creepy. I mean, he read my fortune in 2004, at a time when I had a dream to do my MBA, but never thought it would be possible. And in 2006, as a result of various circumstances, I did.

So on accounts that he got TWO things right, does this mean I should believe him?

while we're on the topic of food

Here's a quick recap of my favourite stuff at lunch in school:

• Bacon & Egg Sandwiches by Ginster
• Walker's Crisps - particularly the thai sweet chilli flavour and marrrrrrrrmite (Dammit they have it in HK!)
  
• Pret A Manger - the crayfish with rocket (Double DAMMIT they have THAT in HK TOO!)
• On the occasional "I pack school lunches" Quorn with stuff
• Jacket potatoes - with just good ole' cheese and baked beans, or if you'll like more info.
  

Think it's my - I am off carbs for a while diet - that is sparking off fond memories of carb overload. Oh well. Damn my fat genes!

enuf said.

I bloody need a new camera.

Oh and of cos the desserts were fantastic!!!!!

Twelve + One
6 Rochester Park
Tel: 6872 6013

morphing into the enemy

I think I look like a rat or a happy rodent in this picture. You can so ratify my face in that pix. YIKES!

Just the other day, my colleague was telling me how he stepped on a dead rat. With whooshing effect of him slipping on dead rat enacted. Gross. Yuck, can u imagine the rat juice. EEEEEEEEKS!

fuelled by hormones

Missed out on my pills last month, and boy-oh-boy do I seriously regret it. I was PMS-ing for 2 whole weeks, thinking that it sucks to be me (tune from Ave Q), getting hungry all the time and then getting mostly depressed, about work and life in general.

Hormones. What are they? And geez, the effects that they can have on you. It's scary. It's just some chemicals running through your body, and yet the kind of emotional rollercoaster ride it can put you on. I mean, I kinda want to think that my life experience is unique and HUMAN, and created from my thinking actions. And not the outcome from a bunch of chemicals running amok at a certain time of the month.

I mean, innately we already know, especially when it comes to men - hormones rule their lives, since they haven't much of a brain to think with. But to have such an extreme effect on me the past few days, geez, if I can control hormones, I can take over the world!

That's your answer, Pinky.

Oder, auf deutsch, finde ich es urkomisch.

history being made

It's amazing, in less than 2 months, I've lived through two events that will forever go down into history books.

1. The dismal downfall of the American economy and what could be the worst recession in our life, comparable to the Great Depression of the 1930s. This will forever shape the way banks operate, how we regulate our economy, the class textbook cases of Adam Smith vs. Marx in economic ideology.

2. On a more positive side - Barack Obama wins the presidential elections to become America's first african-american president. There's so much positivity about his win, you can't help but feel that maybe one person can make all the difference.

We can only hope and pray that things will get better!

cyber dangers

What could be more dangerous than a pedophile posing as a friend, prowling the internet for unsuspecting victims?

Err... the answer would be me. Ok, maybe not dangerous in a mental/sexual-I-need-to-stalk kids manner, but more in a I need to stalk all online shops for the budding fashion trends to come.

In the past 1 month, in my futile attempts to zzz earlier, I've logged on and bought:

1. iPod Nano
2. Bags

Or if I'm not doing that, I'm cybershopping for ideas and items to buy when I actually go shopping.

Now it's onto holidays. I somehow managed to con my cous (hahah sorry cous) to go with me to Sentosa for a spa retreat.

And of cos, holidays lead to swimsuits.

Swimsuits lead to ... oh I need a new towel.

Towel leads to ... oh Taka,towels are next to L'Occitane, I so want need the verde perfume...

You see where that train of buying thought goes to?

signs of our time

It's been a really depressing few months. Everytime when u listen in to radio, watch the news, read the news,... it's been nothing but bad things to come. Key words: recession, bailouts, financial crisis, worst since the great depression, dow down...

If it isn't about the financial crisis these days, it's about the US election. Which to be honest, seems like a no brainer to me who should win.

Just a random snapshot of the news today:






It's kinda sad, but the only kind of breaking news are the bad ones. I'm sure that it just aggravates the situation, making people worry and that just makes everything worse.

Don't people want to read happy things anymore? Makes me all a bit worried about the future. With the tsunami of a recession that is about to hit our little bubble island, employment, money, it's all a bit too worrying.

so ready to be shredded

I just got in my mailbox today my Amazon order - 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels. She is incredibly no nonsense... and her workout looks seriously tough. Can't wait to get started. She is practical about exercise, like in the video, she goes "you want abs like these, they don't come for free".

it is gold

Am Freitag bin ich ins Kino gehen. Das Film? Mama Mia. Ich habe soooooo viel gute Erinnerungen ueber die Lieder. Ahhhhhhhhh Und Super Trouper? Das war die liebeste Lied von meinem Cousin, als er 4 oder 5 Jahre alt war. Denn habe ich mit meine Grossvater und Grossmutter gelebt. Es gab ein ganz Garten. Und als wir Kindern waren, in der Nacht, haben wir die Licht ausgemacht, und Super Troupe so laut spielen. Das Wohnzimmer war ein Disko. Wir haben Fackeln mitgenommen, und haben im Wohnzimmer getanzt und gesingt.

Naturlich, nach dem Film habe ich am Youtube ABBA's Lieder gesucht. Und heir gibt es ein Lied, das im Saarbruecken ausgefuhuert wird!



Und das LieblingsLied vom alle...

feeling a little nostalgic

Sometimes I think people in a relationship are in such a bliss. Having someone who cares for you and someone you can care for, build a life with, share your sorrows, joy and excitement. Although my relationships haven't been the greatest, but when its good, it etches so deeply in your memory that in moments when you are single, it comes gushing back to the surface, hitting you so hard that you wish you had someone.

Of cos this is just me in my momentary "I need a relationship" state, which will shortly be repaired once I have enough sleep, and other reasons and things to keep me suitably occupied. And of cos, it doesn't help that I am listening to soppy songs that tell of heartbreaks that sort of hits home.

Maybe all experience, like most ideas, that we go through aren't original. Otherwise, how can we empathise, and recognise all signs of heartache or happiness when we hear others narrate their stories? As much as we think we are individuals on this tiny planet, maybe we're not. Perhaps we're not as different to the ants and bees we see.





Reason Why
Artist: Rachael Yamagata

I think about how it might have been
We'd spend out days travelin'
It's not that I don't understand you
It's not that I don't want to be with you
But you only wanted me
The way you wanted me

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
And we hang our heads down
As we skip the goodbyes
And you can tell the world what you want them to hear
I've got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I'm up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

I'll buy a magazine searching for your face
From coast to coast, or where ever I find my place
I'll track you on the radio, and
I'll sign your list in a different name
But as close as I get to you
It's not the same

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
As say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, you're still there
I'm gone, you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

So, steal the show, and do your best
To cover the tracks that I have left
I wish you well and hope you find
Whatever you're looking for
The way I might've changed my mind,
But you only showed me the door

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
And say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I, you and I, you and I know the reason why.

The other version of I wish You Love found on Prime



Ahh nothing like listening to this song while walking on your own all bundled up in jackets and with gloves, while the cold wind blows against your cheeks.

on a dry newsday

Amidst the doldrums of the global financial crisis and catastrophic political situations in Thailand and Malaysia, and babies in China dying of contaminated milk, somewhere on a sunny little island just 1 deg north of the equator, 4 million something residents suddenly realise that their wages are eroded from inflation! OH you don't say!
























What fucking crapshit does our local news report? And it's sooooooooooo groundbreaking and absolutely true cos it comes from MOM. WTF? The state of our nation is going down the drain.

I actually found it really hilarious that that should even appear on the FRONT page news. Do these people think we're idiots? Previously, $5 can get me a pack of chicken rice, a drink and still have some change left. Now $5 gets me a pack of chicken rice, no drink, and if you eat at some "better" foodcourt, you might even have to pay more to get a meal. Any man on the street could have verified that. We didn't need some cockshit statement from MOM to tell us that. We're suffering the repercussions of a 4-going-onto-5-going-onto-7% inflation rate.

i so wanna...

quit.

And I am seriously contemplating if I should. Although I have no other options of a job at the moment. But I'm unhappy, tired and feeling like an idiot at work all the time.

The money is a relief. Of cos. But the endless days of work, with no respite in sight. Last week was a 63 hour work week for me.

This week, and it's only wee hours of Tuesday morning and I've worked 20 hrs. Where normal people would have worked only 8 hours. Cos Monday has just ended.

And I still can't finish my work. Very often, under pressure to produce a piece of work, and with so many conflicting deadlines, I produce really crap quality work. And I feel embarrassed to hand in that piece of work. But what choice do I have? I haven't time to improve it, or spend another few more hours thinking about it.

Which brings me to another point. I'm just doing copy all the time. I want to do strategy, planning, regional work...but this week I am doing copy - telemarketing script and powerpoint slides.

Is this how my MBA should be used?

Did I spend a good $100,000 to learn things, only to let my brains rot.

If I get a temp job, at least I know I am letting my brain rot for temp pay and hours and workscope.

I think it is quite clear what I shld do, just a matter of if I have the courage to do it.

tick tock

Oh the wonders of FB. People whom you haven't seen in YEARS suddenly add you as a friend. Of cos I wasn't known by my current name now, which probably makes people who want to add me in really tough. *as if a lot of people want to add me to their friend's list*hahahha

But looking through some of my gf's profile, they are married. with kids.

I know, I know. Being single is my choice (hmmm not really) sometimes I wonder if I had taken the alternative route, where would I be now?

Was wishing 2 seconds there for a different life. :P hahah 1,2, two seconds UP! hahah glad i'm still here!

july is a really long month

I really should be sleeping. But I just don't which is bad, cos tomorrow at 7am, I'll hit the snooze button on me alarm clock and sleep for another 1 hour.

This month seems to be really slow. Largely cos I am waiting for a response. But there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. Everyday is just an unexciting day that has become a routine. Feels like a hair cutting moment again. I am sick of feeling hair in clumps. Shall go see hair dresser soon.

I really shld get some rest. Look at it this way, tomorrow is a day where I can make it better. :)

i hate building work of any sort...

Since coming back from the UK, my ears have been subjected endless pounding, drilling, general building noise. I remember the 2 weeks while I was in the UK for my graduation, I was so happy to just listen to absolutely nothing. It was so peaceful.

It's taken the bloody builders close to a year now to do the lift upgrade. In the time that I was away in the UK, new buildings have sprouted from the ground in Singapore. So pardon me if I cannot understand why it takes them more than 12 mths to build a couple of lift shafts and throw in a few lifts within. There's no notice of schedule given to residents who are affected by the horrendous drilling. Nor do they give ample time and warning to us that they will be closing sections of the carparks, and bringing in 2 tonne monster trucks to lift pre-fab lift shafts* for construction. There were periods in the the past year where for weeks there was no progress made on the lift upgrade. In fact nothing was being worked on. Of course now that the supposed deadline draws near, they are working from 8am to 6pm, everyday from Monday to Saturday.

Yup, even on Saturday.

And today is just the straw that broke the camel's back...for me. There was roofing work done on a Sunday. At 830am. That really pissed me off so much that I wrote in to HDB. It's not the first time they've done something as fucking stupid as that. It's more than just fucking stupid. It's just how fucking fucked up the HDB morons are. Void deck cleaning and roofing works on a Sunday. Fucking assholes.

Just thinking about it fucking pisses me off big time.

*It's all fucking pre-fab-ed, so why isn't taking less time to build?!

make it interesting or i'm gon...

How can it be that just after 4 months into my new job, I am bored. It's honest to goodness boredom. Doing copy, creating promotional brochure, and get this, putting together presentation decks for corporates.

OMG. I am so fucking bored out of my brain at work. What's the strategy? Change management? NPVs? Ratios? Cost allocation? Marketing strategies? I mean the people at work are great. But I honestly cannot take the work scope. It's like work of some really junior person. And even then it's not with the autonomy that I once had.

I don't know if I should attribute it to my arse luck - that I always get these fucking boring and career-going-nowhere jobs or it's just me - that I have really short attention span that grows shorter by the year.

Can't imagine that a year ago I was so happy doing my MBA and learning something and now I am just doing copy. ALL...THE...TIME...!!!! OH GOD!

never been...

...worn.



























From Top left to right: Asics running shoes, grey patent Charles & Keith,
Bottom left to right: Midnight Blue Ted Baker's, Satin white with ribbons and crystal diamente Nine West

Here they are. Some people collect stamps, Oprah apparently collects real estate, some people collect different sort of businesses. My needs are simple. I just collect shoes.

There was an old woman,
Who lived in a shoe;
She had so many children,
She didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth,
Without any bread;
She whipped them all soundly,
And sent them to bed.

Sounds familiar? Except the many children are just 2. R1 and R2. And I would never starve or whip them. :P

Oh, and I should update my list of sponsorship - I would like a pair of Manolos and Jimmy Choos please.

demographics and leftovers

Okay, I didn't finish the last post and I can't be bothered due to a computer glitch.

Anyway, was talking to a couple of friends today. Subject went to marriage, unhappy couples, and expectations. How couples in a relationship always expect the other to change, and men don't change. Or if they do, they change for the lazier, assholic, in general, for worse.

It occurred to me, that at my age if I were to find someone, (hahaha, that'll be the day) if he is = old he would be (a)divorced, (b)separated, (c)bit of a freak (like the last one) or all of the above. And what are the odds of me ever being happy with one of the above? They would be some stubborn old fart with habits that are so hard to change that their previous wives have decided "sod this, I am moving on".

And we all know, I am just too good for leftovers.

hmmm. Guess I just have to manage my expectations about men right now. And I think zero is a good number to stick with. I don't think I can ever be disappointed with zero expectations of men.

Yet another epiphany from being 25 and single. lalala

maybe it's my cluttered chi

Okay, for those who are even mildly religious, this post contains paganistic blood sucking rituals.


Past few years I've sort of become like...MY MOM! Going to temple to pray for a better future, consulting fortune tellers about my career and love life. At the end of the day, they all say more or less the same thing: your life ain't that bad, but it ain't gonna be that good either. So deal with it.

I

scents that remind me of...

New York - Gucci Envy
UK - Bulgari White Tea
Bath, UK - Persil Silk and Wool/ Bold 2in1 Lavender and Chamomile

Sometimes, just driving along the road and listening to a piece of music on my iPod completely transports me back to the UK. Of course I am missing it loads and loads. Wondering how can my life here be so dull and so much excitement in the UK?

I miss, miss, miss the UK.

where in the world is ...kitty?

1. London, England


2. Bath, England


3. New York City, NY, USA


4. Barcelona, Spain


5. Bali, Indonesia


6. Munich, Germany

• Create your own travel map or travel blog


• Visit TripAdvisor.com

evil evil evill....

...call me innocent, naive, dumb, simple, whatever, but I just cannot imagine how evil humans can be. They harbour such ill and sick intentions towards other people. My personal policy is:if no one annoys me, I wouldn't even be bothered with them. And even then, my dream revenge would be something really as "ordinary" as hoping you get knocked down by a car while crossing the road - you know something that the forces greater than me will enact it on my behalf, just becos...they are evil rat droppings.

I was in Vietnam, Ho Chi Minh city to be exact, the scene of where Americans fought the Vietcongs. I actually went to Cu Chi tunnel, an area where 250km of underground tunnel was dug with just a simple hoe and bamboo basket. I was just amazed. The tenacity of the Vietcongs, sheer willpower not to be overtaken by the Americans. And the Americans honestly, have they no regard for the lives that they are taking?

*sigh*

There was news today of this 72 year old Austrian who drugged his then 18 year old daughter, put her in a dungeon for 24 years, raped her and fathered 7 children, WITH HIS OWN DAUGHTER! As if that wasn't perverse enough, he raised 3 of the 7 with his wife and the other 3 in captivity; they've never seen daylight before.

What kind of sick man would do something like that to his own flesh and blood? And all that lying and deceiving to people close to him to satisfy himself? It's like Steven. Why would you go out and hurt people who haven't done anything to you? It's just such an evil mind that I cannot even believe that such people can exist. And yet they do, and in numbers more than ONE! Scary shit.

restless

It suddenly hit me today. That my routine now could possibly be the same for the rest of my life. I am feeling a bit upset about it. Especially after looking at some of my pictures in Bath. Where did all that time go? I miss it lots. I know for certain that the job that I'm in is not something that I will want to do for very long. And I can feel my brains which were so challenged during the MBA, are starting to slow down.

Suddenly I miss corporate life. I miss the UK. I miss my freedom and space. I miss learning something new, trying something new every other week. Is it possible that that feeling cannot always exist? It can't be.

I just want to have a sense that my future will be good. It doesn't feel like it will be at this point. Yes, it feels good now, things are great - job, family, car. Is that all there is in life? It feels like you're drowning and just trying to gasp for a breath of fresh air. And that air is just refreshing and oh-so-important to remind you of what it means to be alive. I feel myself dying inside again. Bored with the life in Singapore. Sure I can go through the motions of living here and working here. But just something is missing.

when shit hits the ceiling

To be honest I think either 1. I am not cut out for my current job or 2. I am over-loaded. This job isn't something completely new. I have done it before yet so many stupid mistakes.

Had hell from client today for an oversight. And more oversights. Worked till 12am today. And to top it all off, I lost my car key.

That sinking feeling at work just came back today. I haven't felt that in over 2 years. And just today it came back - like I'm not good enough.

Obviously there is not much of a silver lining to these 16 hour workdays. I haven't even lost a single ounce of lard. Oh well, it pays the bills - memorise and repeat like 100000000x.

3 things that I am truly grateful for.

K, least I sound like one of those ungrateful bitches who are always whining about the not-enoughs in life. Here's my list of things which I am grateful for, at least for today :)

• Singlehood

You really need to meet with assholes to truly realise that the best person who loves you is yourself. Treat yourself good, lots of praises, lots of rewards, and always a pat on the back. :) Which was what I did today - lots of shopping, and happy good food.

• Rascals, family & friends

Not necessarily in that order, but to be surrounded by people you love, and who unconditionally love you back :) That's the best gift, really.

• A job, a car and many material things that money can buy.

Just a month ago, I was all panicky and upset. Self esteem at its lowest ever. And can you blame me? And it was just really thinking - would I be able to make it? Everyone else was moving up on whatever ladder they were on. Now, not that I am up on any ladder, but at least I have a job and that allows me to buy things and pays the bills.

Of cos there are other things that I am grateful for. Like my year away and meeting such great people. I just hope I don't ever forget.

baptism by hell's fire

It's season of new beginnings. I just started my new job 4 weeks ago. Geez, has it been that fast? Been working shit long hours so much so that when my new macbook (which rocks!) came, I left it sitting on the coffee table, untouched, unopened for a good 4 days. Work's good so far, no complaints. Except that life has become just work and nothing else. I have no time for anything. Not even bringing out my Harry for a spin. That's the new love of my life - my new car :)

Work has been really hectic, quite fulfilling and I am learning some stuff, so it ain't all that bad yet. Except the crazy hours. Well everything in perspective, at least it pays the bills. Just haven't been very inspired to write in Singapore. I just feel like the MBA year came and went too fast. I do miss it though. I was just looking at some stock images of the UK and I suddenly missed it loads. Steven, now that names are not anonymously hidden to protect the idiots turned out to be a bigger asshole that I originally thought.

But it's good where I am in life now. Non of that emotional baggage. Got a new car, a new job, a new mac and best of all 10mbps broadband. A new addiction to watching videos online :)

Deutsch vergessen

Pardon me my loyal blog readers, but today's post will be in German. Just because...

Meine Freundin hat heute mich angerufen. Sie fragt mich, was ist denn ß auf Deutsch. Naturlich habe ich es schon lange vergessen. Mein Deutsch Akiv steht in meinem Schrank. Ich habe es genommen und gelesen. Aber, ich koennte das Antwort nicht finden.

Ich habe das Post am den 26 Februar geschrieben. Aber nach 3 oder 4 Satzen habe ich es angehalten.

Seit denn ist so viel passiert. Ich arbeite jetzt. Bei einer agency. Und jeder Tag arbeite ich vom 8am bis 12 mittelnacht. Und auch am Wochenende. Jetzt bin ich muede und habe ich nicht so viel Spass. Ich habe auch nicht mit dem Mann gesprochen. Er luegt. Alles die er mir gesagt hat, die sind Lugen. Ich bin natuerlich traurig darueber. Es ist fuer mich besser.

Ich frag mich, warum treffe ich immer, immer so wie scheisse sind? Und heute ist den 28 April 2008, und ich vermisse ihn.

singlehood

I watched Hitch yesternight. In one scene, Eva Mendes was trying to talk her friend out of desperation and said, "You're not sick, you're just single!"

I completely cracked up listening to that line. It was the fourth time I had seen the movie (not cos it's my absolute fave movie, but cos of Starworld's fantastic line up of movies), but it was the first time that I caught that line. And just thinking about it, it's so, so true. How many hours have I spent in long discussions as to what should we do, analysing the dire situation of what strange creatures men are and how completely disastrous singlehood can be and oooo what we should do to remedy it. How can we spend so many hours of our lives thinking that we're single cos there's something wrong with us? We're always not skinny enough, not fat enough, not good enough, not loving enough. Nothing from us is ever enough for the one we love. And we beat ourselves up for it and blame those reasons for our singlehood. That is such a load of bull.

Honestly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with us. If the other person can't take us, sod them and they can go f*ck spider. They are probably the mental ones. I know I am goodlooking, intelligent and an extremely lovely person, so your big loss if you don't get it.

Do I seriously think that men sit around having those same conversations, wasting a perfectly good Saturday afternoon on "inane" discussions like these? I don't think so. The only though that runs through a man's small brain is," Geez, how can I get into her pants?"

Seriously, I reiterate, cos I am quite sure that I have this recorded somewhere in this blog...statistically women outnumber men, so no matter how we moan and lament about the sad state of men on this planet, there will always be more more single women than men. Unless you are happy to accept lying, cheating bastards or polygamy, which personally I can't, you're probably much better off alone. There I said it, and you can always quote me on this and no need to thank me on this piece of wisdom.

If men aren't going to bother wasting their time in utterly mindless and completely unproductive conversations, we're probably better off spending time doing stuff we like. Me...I know how I can spend that time - bitching, shopping and rascalling .

Now that we've established that there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single, the answer is probably as simple as this: maybe the men just aren't good enough for us.

PS. I got a job. :) Just when you least expect it, it comes knocking. I am definitely excited by the role and I hope I do well! Just have to channel all that energy in useless conversations into something productive.

recruitment best practices...

... seriously, why do so many companies suck , suck, suck at it? Why can't you see that candidates aren't really out to lie, cheat, or abuse your company, can't you treat potential candidates as talents that can help your business? Afterall, I don't owe you living. I am just interviewing for a potential job.

Case number 1:
Went for an interview yesterday and the HR thought that I was going for an temp position, the hiring manager had in mind a permanent position. The hiring manager didn't even bring in my resume for the interview and was somewhat patronising thinking that she had the experience. But when I questioned her about the day-to-day activities and growth plans for the division, her answer was "Oh there are lots of meetings...and sometimes I don't even know what we do in the meetings“

＊ 流眼泪＊

And she couldn't tell me what the growth plans were - her answers were like business as usual activities.

Double 流眼泪

Case number 2:
After sending in your resume, the recruiter or hiring manager requests for an interview only to tell u that you don't have the experience in the particular industry.

*Duh* can't u see that on my resume right from the start? Why are you wasting my time?!

The best part was with a headhunting firm, the recruiter told me I didn't have the experience and asked if I had other candidates for him.*seriously, wtf?*

Another one, to have the hiring manager put you down, saying that as a manager you should have like many contacts and not be doing what I was doing.

Case number 3:
Going for a couple rounds of interviews and then NOTHING, nada. No response as to what is the outcome. If your candidate has the decency to take time off to meet up with you, the least you can do is to tell them "We're still sorting things out" or "Sorry you've not been shortlisted". Closure, you know?

Case number 4:
Making your candidate wait. Once I was told to meet at 5pm for a second round of interview, and because it was sort of a family runned business, the CEO had to meet me. But the CEO was extremely busy that week and on that day when I went for the interview, he was doing an internal meeting that overan... by 2.5 hours and with no end in sight. I walked out of that interview.

Mind is fuzzy, can't think of anything to write. Am quite sick and with my luck I have to report of temp work tmr. Joy!

why nice girls finish last...

Borrowed a book from Sally that was recommended by my other friend Kylie. It's called Why men love bitches. It's a fantastic read, especially to girls, who are always there for the men. (Sad to say I am guilty of that when I'm in a relationship) Girls who are nice, who always try to overcompensate by doing extras for the men, often have men running in the other direction for other women. Other women who sometimes are so fugly, you go...

"WHY?!?!?! She's so fugly and yet has a man, and I AM STILL SINGLE?!?!?!"

It's not rocket science, really. From past relationships, you know that the more you ignore a man, the more you make him go for the hunt, the more affectionate he becomes. And in fact he starts paying more attention to you.

I asked S if he thinks I was tooooo nice that he stepped all over me.

His answer,"No, I just wasn't in the mood when you visited."

Translation: Yes, you were such an easy target that I had you at my beck and call.

Well, now that we have a 10,000 miles distance between us, 8 hour time difference, broken up, and with me mostly stressed out with no work and so not really bothering with him, he seems to pay a little more attention, with regular pepperings of "I miss you." He even said he would have driven to London to see me, if I was there. (Hmmm talk is cheap, even at the height when the relationship was hot, hot, hot!! he wouldn't even do a 3 hour drive to Surrey).

Anyway, today he is back to his usual self, "I wouldn't even go to Bath to see you today."

That's his affection-o-meter. Talk about women being moody. Men are like 1,000,000,000,000x worst. S was in mostly that mood when I was in Bath the one year. He needed time to sort out his thinking. And the moment I moved 3 boxes of my life possessions back to Singapore and cut off all links in the UK, he's suddenly cleared his thinking about me. (And I am STILL waiting to hear what that verdict is) Not that I think things can work out between us now, or ever, but with him sometimes being affectionate, my resolve to stay split melts a little.

Back to the book. It's about self-respect. About loving yourself enough not to let others treat you bad. And I think that's what I have to learn. If they can't make time for you, sod them. Girlfriends or boyfriends alike.

That's when I told S that it's best he go to gym to get some happy hormones in him cos I wouldn't get on any plane to see him either.

na, na, na, na, na, na...

Okay this is an old Gorillaz song, but it came on tv earlier and it's the sort of tune that gets your fingers tapping and ass moving and stuck in your head for the rest of the day!!!!!! So heck, turn up the volume and start singing....

Get the cool, get the cool shoe shine....Get the cool, get the cool shoe shine.






btw, this is the 200th post!! Can't believe I have that much trash to blog.

na, na, na, na, na, na...

withheld number

I've a mobile number that's so easy to remember, it's almost more of a curse than a blessing to have it. I get misdialled numbers almost everyday. Thank goodness incoming calls are free.

This afternoon I received a call. On me blinking screen it said "Withheld number"

Caller: Hello, *mumble, mumble*

Me: Pardon?

Caller: Who are you?

Me: T. Who are YOU?

Caller: Did you call a chat line just now?

Me: WHAT? (more a rhetorical question to a stupid question than a genuine what question)... NO!

Caller: Oh, okay...

He had a split second pause and he probably thought he could try his luck since he couldn't get his original chat partner, he asked me...

'What did you say your name was again?'

Me: You called the wrong number! Bye!


Oh come on, you sound so unattractive on the phone. Did you think you're god's gift to women that they get soooooooo turned on when they listen to you? For fuck's sake!

unemployment benefits

• No stress from anyone
  
• Get to sleep till 12pm (unless woken up by constant drilling from lift upgrading, but even then I've learned to sleep through it.)
• Time - lots of time. Time to do anything you want, best paired with a bottomless bank account
• Going to bed at 3am and not worrying about getting up early (see point 2)
• No Monday blues
• Shop at odd hours of the day so that you don't squeeze with crowds
• Go gym at odd hours of the day (If and when I eventually get there)
• Sit by Starbucks and watch the world go by
• Best part of it all *drum rolls* play with the rascals!
  

2008 is the year to ...

...be fabulous!

That's the creed for the year. Though I am seriously not for one to make resolutions, but I figured, humans (me included, of course) are creatures, who despite being one of the smartest things on earth, still need guidelines to live by. We need to set certain targets, work real hard towards it, and then feel happier at the end that we've achieved something. Otherwise all that idle time we start thinking that life is a bore, there's no meaning and end up degenerating and keep chanting that things are so sian.

So here it is, I am setting objectives and tasks for myself, no matter for whatever it is I do. Doesn't matter if I fail (of cos succeeding would be a whole lot sweeter) what is important is the experience of the journey. I am starting to dig this reflective practice crap that I had to do for my MBA. I think it's really positive. It basically tells us to try things in different ways to challenge the way we handle situations. It could be the way you react to someone, or the way you try to change the environment. But it's this whole trying out different scenarios and reflect on what's the best possible way to an outcome. So far it has been fun doing this reflective practice shit.

Be fabulous

:) It came from a Möet & Chandon campaign that I saw at Bellini Room while counting down last night. :) It was good. I had forgotten what it was like to go out for drinks and dance the night away. This compared to last year's was soooooo different. I was driving to York this time last year.

Of course I was constrained by a nagging thought that I shouldn't be extravagant, seeing that there are no jobs in sight and bank account is bordering on "you're in serious shit". So yes, I paid $35 for entrance fee, got a vodka lime, demanded for my party pack and plotted half the night to nick a party hat from one of them early party-goers. Then happily trudged to the train station to catch the late train back home. Thank goodness for the North-East Line! I am feeling quite happy these days. More critical and bitchy about a lot of other things, but happier hahhaha. Taking about resolutions, this is such a good relationship resolution written by one of me favourite blogger Heather Hunter.

16 hours into the new year and already I have broken my resolution to be on my all effective diet. I made my tortilla de patatas and pan con tomate for breakfast today.

Ladies & gents, I present to u my first Tortilla de patatas y pan con tomate