lull-a-bye

After the hectic-ness of last week. This week seems a bit of a let down.

Quick run through of this weekend's events.
Sat:
Went to Sainsbury's to stock an empty fridge. Called home. Met S in the afternoon for an hour. When for drinks in the evening.
Sun:
Woke to find that the clocks have gone back one hour (I thought that was happening tonite), so naturally, I went back to sleep for one more hour. Woke second time round to get ready for lunch to celebrate classmate's birthday. Met S for coffee, bought me coffee even tho he is out of cash (wallet was gone). Said he had a row with the chink, and yet borrowed £100 off her. I seriously think they didn't row.

Saw classmates along streets of Bath while I was out with S. Thank god wasn't holding his hand, or would have a lot of answering to do. Strolled shops for a bit, then came home. Been on computer since 4. now it's 5.50pm.

SHIT the sky is dark! How did that happen?! Oh, clocks went back one hour.

I don't feel like reading, don't want to eat anymore. Though of lugging 2 loads of laundry to laundrette is too much to bear. Just wished there was someone in my room to snuggle up to. Sigh. Is that even too much to ask? I'm like thinking men are so commitment phobic, the thought that I am asking for non-committal relationship, ie, I will not ask you to marry me or start a family with me. Is that too much to ask? All I want is just have an easy relationship. For you to spend some time with me. That's really all that I want.

Here's the conversation that went this afternoon.

"Tricia is looking for hunks," said S to his friend Nigel.

"Well, this is definitely not the place for it then." I replied, doing a quick scan of the crowd. "Oh, by the way, I'm going up to London next Friday."

"So you're going to look for hunks there?" S asked.

"Well sure." I replied.

"Are you really?" S looked at me with his piercing green-grey eyes.

"Of course!" I said. Then seeing that this tactic wasn't going to get me some free meals and coffee then said,"I am kidding! I am there for work."

Then S bambled something about he is going to get seriously hurt. wtf. So him staying with that brainless twit of a gal didn't hurt me? Asshole, asshole, asshole.

Seriously. They all are. Rich ones, poor ones, ugly ones, handsome ones.

I'm writing men off for a LONG TIME, at least emotionally. How much of crap does a gal have to go through to find a decent piece of non-crap. Maybe I shouldn't be searching the trash cans.

asshole, asshole, assholes.

to have and to hold

Well, I don't think I am suited for communal living.

The accommodations are like one-room cheap motel-style places. With 5 floors, one common kitchen, and walls made of paper.

This gal living next to me has pissed me off even tho we haven't exchanged more than 100 words since I came here.

1. She is inconsiderate in the kitchen. She cooks, eats and leaves the whole pile of plates, pans and cutlery in the sink.

We only have one sink, shared by 4 other people excluding her.

2. We've been living here for a month now and she's only bothered getting her own cutlery and plates this week. And her goddamn annoying boyfriend comes over, borrows my white milk mug (not to mention my one and ONLY mug) and then doesn't return it in the morning when I need it for milk. It happened twice. I mean get your own fucking mug. If you are going to borrow someone's mug, taken apparently from their cupboard, at least have the decency to return it immediately after you've used it. They once held my mug hostage for 2 days. 2 days I had no milk for breakfast, and I only about drink milk and eat yoghurt for breakfast.

Fucking twerp.

Till I stuck a notice on the fridge that said," Hi, whoever who has taken my white mug from the bottom left cupboard of the stove, please return it, I need it to drink my milk in the mornings."

Miraculously, it was returned that very evening.

3. Fine if you are getting some and the rest of the world isn't. But do you have to get your boyfriend to ring the doorbell along the common corridor that is so loud that it wakes the dead in the middle of the night? If you're arranging for a bootycall, why can't you fucking anticipate and be more discrete about it?!

4. While they are at it, can the man not moan that loud? Especially at 2am? And the sex can't be all that good, cos it ends in like 2 minutes of hardwork. And I've only heard the gal had one orgasm the whole time since they've been humpings since the start of the term.

5. They just completely ignore the existence of the other people in the kitchen group, a behaviour which I find just downright rude.

It's been a long week and I'm tired and grumpy. And I think it shows on today's post.

permanent resident

It's affirmative. The rude, loud and red family of zits has decided to squat on my forehead.

After 2+ something weeks, they are still there. Unlike my DHL box of goodies, which is NOT here, yet. I'm about to freeze to death, and the DHL box is taking a leisurely world cruise. Last sighted in Frankfurt after disembarking from its SQ flight. After Bonz tracked it down, found that it finally arrived in UK on Monday.

Today is Wednesday, and still no sight of it.

Sigh.

I'm dead tired. And the best part of things is, everyone thinks I'm having an easy time studying. I seem to be clocking in more hours at school than doing any form of socialising, at all!

DANG! February project might be a bit of a disaster, me thinks.

Like that how to find men?! *yup i mean plural* At least one that might possibly make me permanent resident in THIS country. Hmmm or I could take a leaf out of the zits, squat here.

the mall

I had a half day at school today. Which was good. So a bunch of us gals took Lina's car to Bristol.

We past by Aspects Leisure centre, which is 5 minutes away to S' house.

She asked if we wanted to go to the Mall or town. The gals said the Mall.

Till we were driving towards Cribbs Causeway. MAJOR flashback. I was there with S in April.

Then she drove us by the Downs (first date with S)

Went onto the Brunel Suspension bridge (with S)

So I'm feeling particularly miserable now. Wondering why I am at Bath. (I mean I know why I am at Bath, but just wallowing in self-pity) feeling miserable, upset, tired and really wanting to call S to scream at him.

Doesn't help that I am down with a cold and feel that the huge zit on my forehead has decided to make that its permanent residence.

So there. I'm sick, with a horrid haircut and all I want is mommy's cooking.

the smell of clean laundry

Where I live now, it's 4 blocks with one lift serving all for blocks. Each block has five levels. I'm on the highest floor in the block furthest away from the lift, and also furthest away from the launderette.

Since it costs £1.60 for one wash, and another £1 for tumble dryer, I try to consolidate my darks and whites within a week and a half so that I maxmise my £1 for dryer. It also means I've got two BIG LOADS of wash to do each time I struggle to go down to the laundry room.

I was up and down three times today, till the guy who maintains the accommodations could kinda recognise my face.

But the end result, carrying that load back to my room, is just great. The smell of clean laundry. Hmmmmm what can beat that? Nice, warm, CLEAN clothes.

Which brings me back to my point, I had this session on managing your managerial competencies this week, and also something on time management last week. It was kind of a rude awakening. I know my ultimate destination, it's a question of what route to take, and what mode of transport should I take?

During the time management course last week, Kathryn (the lecturer, whom I thought was more inspiration than a real time management lecturer), she was trying to teach confidence, and self-awareness for success. She talked to us about procrastination.

ohhh Hi lover! Procrastination and I go back a long way, but I think it's time for that dreaded breakup.

We talked about contracts. Doing on the MBA is a contract to myself. It's what you set yourself out to achieve. And if you don't do it, you breach the contract, you fail yourself, not to mention you'll never get anywhere.

We used a model to map out our self-awareness, our identity. Then mapped out our job competencies, and whom we know. All these three are to work in tandem to bring you to where you want to be in a year's, 2 years' or 5 years' time.

And you know what? There's a huge gap from where I am now, and where I want to be.

So yes, even if it's a tedious process to do laundry, I will do it cos I want the smell of clean in my life. I will have to part ways with procrastination and do what needs to be done to get there.

ENTJ

Can you do 2 posts a day? Hmmm why not.

Had my personality assessment done today. It's a series of pyschometric test by Myers-Briggs Model. Realised it's the same test my cousin Raena had done a couple of months back.

I turned out to be an ENTJ.

What struck me was, I thought I had a lot of "feeling" in the Myers-Briggs, in that I care for the value of harmony and people.

Turned out my "thinking" element was stronger. A lot stronger. It goes something like this.

Extraversion - 13
Intuition - 21
Thinking - 45
Judging - 23

Part of the personality type in an ENTJ are that:

• Logical, analytical and objectively critical (hmmmm maybe)
• Decisive, clear and assertive (hmmm, not too sure about the assertive part, but learning)
• Likely to conceptualise and theorise easily; adept at translating possibilities into plans (Is that why I like project work?)
• Good at correcting illogical or inefficient procedures (Well, I couldn't take it at bastard of a company)
• Likely to value intelligence (Operative word: intelligence) and competence, abhor inefficiency (Hence hated the cunts so much, cos they were brainless and incompetent)
• Action oriented and strategic (hahah until I get de-motivated by things)

Other excerpts were (or I was doing a mental checklist of what was clearly my personality from the list):

• ENTJs have very clear standards about what constitutes right and wrong, correct and incorrect behavior (Checked)
• They are natural skeptics and will spontaneously question anything that comes into their purview. (Checked)
• Intuition orients ENTJs to meanings, patterns and the big picture, and thus their thinking is both logical and abstract. (Sounds like a load of crap but I can kinda see it., ooo (Checked)
• ENTJ are intellectually curious and love exploring new ideas. They like to exercise their ingenuity in solving problems in addressing challenges(Checked)
• ENTJs deeply value competence and intelligence, both in themselves and in others. They set high goals, and continually hold themselves to an exceptionally high (possible too high at times) standard of accomplishment. (ooooo, triple checked, checked, checked)
• ENTJs can be bored with the literal working out of plans, developing of sensing will help them have a healthy respect for the details necessary to turn plans into realities...They want the world to run efficiently and planfully, but may themselves be intolerant of routine and may prefer to leave follow-through on plans and projects to others. (hmmm, doesn't that sound familiar?)

Was initially skeptical of the test (natural of an ENTJ), but hmmm there may be some truth there.

Guess I should stop bloggin, shower and get down to some £20,000 worth of reading that I paid for.

:)

far east

It's really funny. I am not sure how to say this, like have we(Asia) developed faster than the English blokes who sailed in their ships over and started colonizing us, or is it just a matter of perspective?

I was in a group discussion just the other day, and we were talking about our presentation points on a global obesity problem (You know, MBA students, gotta at least sound intelligent about some politically correct, worth lobbying in Brussels kinda topic). So my classmate went,"Ok, we'll cover UK, US and the Far East."

I turned around, looked at him and said,"Is that what you're calling us these days?" Giving him a look of amusement. "Cos, I always thought we were just Asia." Far East brings to mind a something that Raffles and British India Company in 1800 might have labelled South East Asia.

He found it funny that I called it Asia, cos it's always been "Far East" to him.

But he settled for the term and did our presentation, referring to that part of the world as "Asia".

So yup, chinese food is oriental food. All things oriental have some chinky ching dynasty design to it, not to mention three times the price of normal stuff.

Maybe it's a matter of perspective huh? :) Cos we, in the words of my neighbour,"(you guys) are a little far by plane."

at least it's not the 822

Had presentation skills, to which this guy called Steve Knight, said that I was good presenting. I mean I kinda know I am okay at presenting, but doesn't hurt to have your ego boosted.

Sat opposite cutie at dinner today. Tho, I was kinda aware that it was cutie, hence didn't come up with:
1. Anything intelligent
2. Anything interesting

So therefore I conclude: didn't make an impression.

Oh well. Too bad. I guess. Gotta start looking else where for attention now don't I?

love of my life

Just thinking about b1 today. Suddenly miss him lots. As kids, of course they go about their own daily tasks.

And, I miss my car a lot. It's almost like it is a representation of what I've given up to come here. There is a picture of both b1 and my car together. That always gets to me.

I know the year will go by real fast. And I will be saying,"Gosh, I miss UK." before you know it. Still. I miss the rascals.

fried rice paradise

For some strange reason today, I felt like cooking. Nevermind if I don't have my usual host of spices, sauces, pots and knives with me. I just felt like eating rice.

While cooking, I made a cuppa, which obviously I didn't finish. So I left it. So there I was, happily chopping, dicing, oil in pan, frying.

After some 20 minutes later, the fried rice was done. I sat down with one teaspoon (my own cutlery are still on their way to me), shoving fried rice into my mouth.

Then sipping coffee with fried rice.

I have turned into one of those old folks at kopitiams who have their lunches with a hot beverage.

Another mortifying moment was when I started clearing my drawer of plastic bags, and started folding them into triangles. Exactly how my mom would have done it.

You know how people always go -- You have your dad in you, your mom in you. I am turning into an old person. There, epiphany for the day.

action interaction

I just paid £189 to join a gym at school recently. (Oh, nevermind if I suspended my gym membership in Singapore) But my cousin was applauding me on my discipline to go gym after trudging through beautiful town of Bath. (Well, mostly to catch the bus at the bus stop or bus station, but the rest of the world needn't know that)

I told her, it's more an interaction thing, rather than gym per se. 24x7, 7 days a week cooped up in my room, or in 8 west lecture room 3.13 faced with 29 same faces, I will die, surely.

I mean in a country of eye candy (at least for me) I gotta go out and at least try to make some contact. :) I mean, you know how I absolutely hate new beginnings. That awkward moment of "hi, where are you from?" and having to make small talk. oooooo sometimes I can feel myself cringing at the thought that I have to be in conversation with this person for the next 5 minutes. Maybe I'm not a people person. At least not a new people person.

But strangely after being cooped up in the room and monotonous routine of school-home-school home for a good few days, I changed my mind.

I am determined to get out there and see if I can try to "establish contact"! If not get a date for a coffee next Saturday, at least find someone who'll accompany me to Bristol or London for shopping. I so miss coffee sessions with friends, just the general gossiping, bitching and griping over life, work, bastard boyfriends.

So yes, despite a small nagging voice at the back of my head telling me to skip the drinks session at 8 later, I am going. Get a drink, a little light headed, and have a smashing good time.

Tell you about it later!

the heat is on

Finally. After much trauma and pulling on extra covers, the heaters are on. I was starting to think the people who work at the heating co. (is there such a thing?) are actually polar bears in disguise.

K, I gotta stop munching on the nuts I bought. It's hurting my temples.

So, YIPPEEE the room won't be freezing cold at night. Hopefully.

Oh, talking about heat, or rather, on heat, the neighbours yesterday were having a huge mattress mambo session. Walls are really thin, so I could hear every single detail. I thought it was quite funny really. Seems like the MBA is the only course that really gives you a run for your money. Everyone else here doing a postgraduate course seems to be having it easy. Between classes, readings, picking up readings and more readings, where do you find time to go hunt a man down for sex? I don't even have time to squeeze a pint of beer in!

Oh and yes, the reading and classes are starting to heat up. Been getting splitting migraines since yesterday during class. I wonder if it's from stress in class, or just PMS.

Hmmm maybe a nice soak in that bath tub would do me some good.