But you can't have it

I remember when I was in Bath and how I didn't want to go back to Singapore. And because I had no choice, I had no job and low on money, I had to.

And suddenly with crazy busy jobs, I'd lost that eager yearning and hunger to work and live abroad.

"Staying in Singapore could be good," I tell myself that now. But just two days into Europe, all that has changed. I feel that painful urge and longing to be in the UK. Again.

Just the entire weather, culture, people, architecture and way of life that makes me feel "I so wanna be here!!"

Just walking through some forested path in Oslo today and I was just envious and upset that I can't ever be in a place like that. I mean there are people who marry up, be housewives and stay home in places in the UK. Why can't I achieve that? A sense of failure kinda set in. I can't even get someone to like me enough to wanna be with me for a more than two years, what hope did I have to get someone who will take care and love me for the rest of my life? Is my life destined to be one that's always so busy, strapped broke and single? Yeah of cos this on the fact that I wouldn't be able to
achieve anything on my own.

With me getting old so fast, it seems so. And I just don't know what I will do in future when I've no more rascals when they grow
up, or my parents? Friends will find their partners. I'll just be in Singapore, working crazy 60 hrs a week and forgotten a dream that I long so much once.


Post From My iPhone

Location:Oslo, Norway