defuzzed and scrubbed

Ahhhhh, just came out of the shower. And it feels good. The past two days were spent at S's place, and of course god knows where he put my deodorant. So I ended up using his. Well, it's between smelling like a good, clean smelling man, or me scent, au naturale. Between the two, I take smelling like a man.

So the past few days I have been so frenzied about work that I have clean forgotten to groom. But I've observed one or two things on stress on humans... some more known than others

1. Makes you lose your appetite. (I have NO cravings even though I am hungry. Very unusual)
2. Pimples, pimples, pimples...
3. Makes your hair grow.

I swear, my hair has grown longer. And just a few days before I went to S's place to stay had defuzzed my underarms... but it was all fuzzy when I checked 2 days back!

Not to mention my brows and moustache!!!!

now, now, all's calm. Everything's in order now. :)

when hell freezes over

I suppose that's my thought about my dissertation at the moment - if I finish it, will be when hell freezes over.

Wordcount - 11,300 words. Which is fine, considering I was panicking about data analysis right about last week at this time and was at 6,500 words. Driven by panic and fuelled by adrenaline, I started to pound furiously on keyboard only since Thursday or Friday.

As if my days of hell are not bad enough. I am now sick. It's just weird that with age, you know your body better. Well sorta. This afternoon, I was in one of the breakout rooms in 8W, and felt that my back was aching. Initially dismissed it, thinking it could be PMS. But then I felt I couldn't sit up straight for for even 30 minutes typing, or concentrate on just writing as I had been the past few days.

And when it came to dinner time, I was looking at the menu of Yummy House (some Chinese/Malaysian/Singaporean take-away/delivery place) I realised I wasn't hungry. Which still wasn't the problem...the problem was I wasn't craving for yummy food.(no pun intended) What I was craving for was a big bowl of milk with cocopops and oj - lots and lots of OJ. (That's not just yummy, it's luxurious decadency for someone with a metabolism like mine.)

Then I knew, I was officially sick. See how one year living in UK helps you save on doctor's fees? Hmmm though I wouldn't mind going to see my favourite Dr. Mark Bligh, to whom I have sworn my undying love.

Think the slight fever must be numbing some instinctive reaction to the panic I have been feeling. Though tummy is churning at the thought that I have done only about 1,000 words today, brain just doesn't want to do more work. I even went home early, went to the nearest grocery store bought milk, OJ and some cheese buns. yikes! Carbs!

Then went home and stuffed myself crazy, napped for 2 hours, popped all the pills I could find in my drawer and decided to call it a day.

And then of course, my eyes wouldn't shut as I lay on bed. Damn!!!!

Now craving for a pasty. Not just any old pasty, but the one from the shop near Starbucks. Anyway, I swore to my English kitchen mate that pasties are non-curry versions of a curry puff. And of course he insisted that it wasn't cause a pasty wouldn't have curry in it and it was predominantly beef with potatoes and pepper in it.

Details, details...

Still, I insist it's the angmo curry puff sans curry. :P

Such intellectual conversations I have in England.

fucking bored out of my mind

Oh my god. I've sat at this seat since 12pm this afternoon (it's now 814pm) and just typing away. I've been doing this since since all of last week, everyday. Yesterday (saturday) went to school worked from 2pm - 10pm

And I really cannot pause to take a break. I have such pressing deadlines. Today is the day I hit the 10,000 word mark. Oh joy!... another 10,000 to go!

Think I might just stop at 18,000 or something. Don't really have that much to say. Then again, I a bit chiong hey, maybe might just reach it.

Okay I shall start my things to do when I get back to Singapore.

1. Visit my favourite dentist
2. Visit my hairstylist (shit cannot remember her name!)
3. Play, play, play play, play with darlings
4. Find a job (hmm that strangely should be on the top of the list)
5. Get mommy to cook fan shu zhou for me.
   

Like nothing really much to look forward to... hmmm

Geez. No one has emailed, facebooked. And I am happy just to receive a mail from flickr.com to tell me that my Yahoo pictures have been migrated.

my lovely city

This is Bath, in the most typical tourist spots. The huge building as the video starts is the Bath Abbey. It the moves right and that is the entrance to the Roman Baths, and Pump Room. The lovely music you hear is a busker playing on the xylophone. It really resonates loud and clear and on a sunny day, makes you feel so good.

Not sure if I will have time to go all the places in Bath that I want to. But I'll try.

big button - aka panic!!

it's 22 August 2007, in one month I'll be on my way home! Last month in UK. Lots of mixed feelings... and like my cousin said - repatriation blues. Don't really feel like I want to go back. And yet, there are no plans for me to stay on in the UK.

Where did all that time go? These past 3 months have been incredibly boring. Just stuck in room or in school and work, work, work. No rest for the weary. After the dissertation I have another 8,000 word article to write - oh joy!

Since Sept last year, it's been something new every week - learning new stuff, doing new stuff, meeting new people. And the past three months, it's the same repetitive tasks each day. I cannot take it. And after the joy of working with teams and really getting close to some of my classmates, we're left all on our own.

Countdown, 15 days to end of dissertation and wordcount - 6,500. Starting to vacillate between immense boredom and major panick.

Just spent 3 hours learning pivot tables, what will I do without my cousin?!

why studying is harder than working

I know, not many will believe that studying can actually be harder than working. But now that I've done both, and am the only mad person I know who wanted to study full-time on my own, I believe I have some authority to give my opinion on this subject.

Let me summarise the reasons, though people who actually read my blog would find many of these complaints familiar.

1. Work - you go in at 8, leave at 6 and don't have to think about it after work or on weekends / Study - you're constantly reading, writing essay, thinking about it 24/7
2. Work - you actually get paid while being tortured / Study - depleting lifetime savings and future earnings while being tortured
3. Work - 14 days of leave go on holiday, someone can sort of cover your work for you / Study - what leave, go on leave and PAY TRIPLE time when you return.
4. Work - do things within your sphere of knowledge / Study - raise your awareness of how ignorant you are and then leave you hanging there thinking, "Oh shit, now what?"
5. Work - eat, drink and party on a working professional's income / Study - beans and toast, hope to get treated for drinks and party in your own kitchen.
   

Would I do another Master's degree, ever again? Noooooooooo. Unless it's sponsored. Having said that, I don't regret a single minute doing my programme, I do question why the hell I wanted it in the first place.

K back to data analysis...wtf?!

life back home

These days it has been really hot in my room at nite. Partly cos it's summer and the weather's decided act that part of the season and partly because my quilt is so comfy I tend to snuggle under it when it's cold at night, but gets a tad too warm from my body heat by 6-7am.

So anyway, with the past few days' events - buying tix, going home, thinking of what to pack back etc - I have been dreaming about home, when I'm feeling all hot under me quilt in the early hours. And it must be human nature. Just when I was getting a bit homesick and tired of this country, I take my course of action and prepare to go home, and suddenly realise, I don't want to go home.

Not to hot weather.
No cute, witty, humorous men who know how to make you feel so great about yourself
No more polite people
No COLD weather
And back to a lifetime of slavery for twits

Geez.

friends and lovers

This whole relationship thing. I'm not sure if I'll ever get it.

It's funny that when you're involved in a relationship, you spill your guts out to the other person. He is expected to take a certain amount of crap and moodiness, you know, a watered down version of "till death do us part" as a boyfriend. And yet when you split, you're supposed to keep as far a distance as possible, not talk to him anymore, not share stupid dumb stories that only your best friend will bother listening.

You never say good bye to good friends. You don't just cut them out from your life, it doesn't work like that in the rulebook of friendship.

I've offered some of my friends from class, that if ever they come over to Singapore, to call me and I'll bring them around. But I'm not sure if I would do that with any of my ex-boyfriends - I mean the entertainment bit, not the them coming to Singapore. And I certainly do not stay friends with exs. It's just weird. One minute you're pouring your heart out to a good friend, and the next, you have to keep your distance. Can you be just friends with exs? I know I can't!

I've just booked my one way tix back home and it feels incredibly sad to say goodbye to this life I've had for one year. Things have not exactly been resolved between S and me. It's almost like the same situation when I first met him 2 years ago. We both agreed we haven't given it our best shot and for me to return home first, then we'll try in December, when or if I return for graduation.

Though I can't imagine not talking nonsense to S. His mindless yakking about gym, son and his friends, my moodswings that only he can manage. I don't really know. I hate not knowing.

Not knowing where the relationship is headed after 2 years.
Not knowing if my future is in Singapore or in the UK (likely in Singapore)
Not knowing if I'll ever paid what I think I'm worth when I'm gainfully employed.

Dang

foreign talent

I cannot believe that there are such unbelievably talented people around. (other than me that is.) muahha. No, really. :P

This guy, Phil Hansen is incredible talented (I know, I've used this word like 3 times already) but there's nothing else that can be used to describe him. Have a look.



This one is my favourite of his work.

super food orgasm

Bought Warburton's Fruit loaf with orange from Fresh yesterday. It's so moist and full of yummy fruit flavour... that plus nutella. Do I need to say more? Think nutella is the world's best food invention.








Warburton's Fruit loaf with orange picture taken from www.warburtons.co.uk. Nutella image link has been misplaced.

spider pig

You got to give it to Matt Groening for his ideas, after like a million seasons on TV, the Simpsons is still the funniest show, ever!!



Spider pig, Spider pig
Does whatever a spider pig does.
Can he swing from a web?
No he can't, he's a pig.
LOOK OUT! He is a spider pig
LOOK OUT! He is a spider pig.

hmmmmm donuts.

london, wasps and all things random

Oh, before I carry on with life, let me re-cap some of the stuff I did in lovely ole' London.

• Went Portobello Market
• Went Selfridges and Co. (I have found heaven, didn't fully explore it, but it's way better than Harrod's)
  
• GBK - Gourmet Burger Kitchen (thanks to me cousin's recommendation. Yum Yum YUM!)
  
• Carnaby Street (Bought Ben Sherman working shirt for half price - woohoo!)
  
• Piccadilly Circus (went Japan centre had good jap food but for too much money)
  
• British Museum
  

Top Left to right: L: Cupcakes, or in this country fairy cakes, both I think sound nice. R: Cajun burger from Gourmet Burger Kitchen, fries sold separately.
Bottom L: Teashop with cupcakes on the window at Portobello Market, R: Fairycakes with shoes! How did I resist?!


Left my window open just about 2 inches and what should come in, but a freaking wasp. It's amazing how these creatures can find their way in, and cannot make their way out. It buzzed and hit all corners of the room, seriously annoying. In the end, I decided to kill it.

This kamikaze bug doesn't know that I come from line of of highly trained pest killers, having acquired my skills at tender age of 4 (which over years I've now perfected it to a karate black belt equivalent). Flies, mosquitoes, beetles, lizards, roaches, ants (I stop at rats, these are more than just pests, they are vile, dirty scums of the earth) once I whip out my slipper, it's the end for these pests.

So anyway I flushed the wasp down my loo. It survived. And started flying all over my bathroom. (Had fleeting image of it stinging my ass when I pee). So took a rolled up poster and started whacking it in midair, machiam like Luke Skywalker battling with his lightsabre. The bug landed temporarily in the bath tub. Mistake. Big mistake. I took the shower hose and washed it down the drain. Muahahahha.

Okay dissertation word count: 80 at the moment. I better buck up and hit a 1000 today! Woohoo! But first to Sainsburys!

severe delays on the london paddington to bath spa line

What was to be a cheap deal going to and coming home from London has turned out to be be incredibly expensive.

The original deal was £13.00 to London, and £4.50 for a return. The only catch for the £4.50 tix was that I had to travel at 12 noon this afternoon. But my cousin (the one doing LSE summer school) had her exams today and for the first time, didn't have school till 5pm and wanted to just hang around. So I bought another tix for 11.30pm at £9.50.

Thing is, that train arrives in Bath at 1.20am. And from the train station to the main gate of Thornbank, it's another 15-20 minute walk - alone, in the dark. With a heavy bag. So if someone were to rob me, I wouldn't be able to run very far, with my pai kar and big heavy bag.

I asked S yesternite if I should book a tix for the 11.30pm train, his reply was - it's up to me.

So just 2hours ago, I was all showered, packed and ready to put on me shoes to catch the train, then IM-ed S to tell him - I'm off.

Then it suddenly hit S that I was going on a late train and would get back to Bath real late. Think his imagination went wild - was thinking I might be mugged, raped and killed while going on the 11.30pm. And of course, he forbade me to go on the late train. What was sweet was he offered to pick up the cost for train ticket in the morning. Though, I wished he had thought of that earlier - the perils of travelling at nite, not picking up the tab on transport tix.

So it's another £46 for a one-way back to Bath tomorrow and at a decent time of 9.30am. Just as well...my picesean senses were telling me not to go at 11.30 tonite.

Time to zzz, back to my old world tomorrow.

Most expensive single ride tix for me ever! Single saver my ass.

what have you done lately?

Went to the British Museum today. It's fantastic. It boasts of the biggest Egyptian collection of mummies outside of Egypt. And just today I can see why. Never seen so many sarcophagus(es?) in my life. And I saw a dried up uterus of a woman from thousands of years ago - not a good sight.

The British Museum has a very grand foyer area. I think it must have been used for location shoot in some movies, cos it looked really familiar. The cool thing about the place is that they have all these artifacts and they are not in glass cases. Good and bad. The good is that you can go real close up and STARE... or in my case, start taking macro-shots. I was thrilled to see real hieroglyphics. And to think this was done like 2000BC i.e 4000 years ago... it's just amazing. The bad is that people and I hate to say this, but based on my observation, a lot of them happen to be Asian, were touching the artifacts. I mean one touch is fine, but you have a whole load of them touching (and there were shitloads of tourists)... you can imagine the etchings are all slowing being erased.

I took some pictures of Assyrian carvings of a lion hunt. The details are just so fantastic, you can even see the muscles of the dogs on a hunt. (Pix to come when my cousin eventually downloads it from her camera).

Anyway they have this section on Alexander the Great, some student of Aristotle and the guy who unified Greece and sparked off the Hellenistic Age. He started his rule at age 20 and he not only unified Greece, but set off to expand his empire that stretched from Greece, across Europe, towards the east to the borders of India. Can you imagine how fucking big that is?! And at age 20!!! He died in his 50s, but within a short span of 30+ years, done so much.

And what the hell have I done with my life?! Does put things into perspective doesn't it?

Best that I get my ass into gear and start job hunting seriously. Afterall, it's not like I'm conquering the world!

chewing gum removal solution that works! (not that we need it in Singapore)

While on our way to Bournemouth last week, I sat on chewing gum at a pitt stop. eeeeeek

For once I was glad of the ridiculous policy* that my country's govt made about 15 years back - sale of chewing gum is verboten**.

So there I was with a patch of old chewed up chewing gum stuck to the back of my right leg of my favourite birthday capris from Giordano. S's mom and dad were furiously trying scrape it off. S, of course, just looked.

So anyway, I searched on the internet about "removing sticky chewing gum from clothes" and the solution was: pour washing liquid on the stain, add salt and rub.

Was a little skeptical - washing liquid and salt? I mean honestly who the hell came up with that combination?

So okay, anything is worth a shot at least once right? And hey, it worked, perrrrrrfectly. Chewing gum blob actually came out real easy.

But once again, not that anyone from my Vaterland*** will need to know this trivial piece of information. Cos our smart govt has already thought out everything for us.

*Poll of people in foreign country who agreed about the ban of sale of chewing gum - so far most of the 10-15 pax I've asked were supportive of it.
**verboten = German for forbidden
***Vaterland = German for motherland. Literally translated it is Fatherland.

i feel loved

It's weird, but I have a feeling that I may be heading home sooner than December. You know, Piscean intuition that is so dead accurate that it's a wonder why I haven't won the lottery.

I always thought that I'll dread going home. But I am quite looking forward to it. Enough of cold summers and hot winters. Enough of days with no char bee hoon and luncheon meat, no ex-CCH support group meetings that are usually pig out sessions, no long we-do-absolutely-jack-all hanging out with cousins, no cursing in Hokkien and having another person understand me. And most of all, enough of life without my darlings.

One thing though, S and I haven't had the chat. And it seems weird that everyone else in my life is focused on my post MBA life, asking me the big question "When are you coming back?". And yet S and I haven't talked about it.

I know S and I have a good thing together, but all this avoidance of a chat and stall tactics for an answer makes me more more determined to just go home where I feel wanted and loved.

Most people are planning for my after MBA life back in Singapore - BBQ, drinks sessions, diving, more food and alcohol. Heck, one of my friends even volunteered to chauffeur me from Changi Airport to home. (Which is like a 20 minute ride by cab, and completely unnecessary for her as it is a big detour for her to drive from her home to fetch me... but it's sweet.), and take a few days from work to bum around with me.

It seems really strange that in 2 months, what I know as "my life in the UK" will completely be over. You know another closed chapter in the great big and oh-so-interesting book of my life. What a year. What a fantastic experience and great people I've met. I'm just so glad that I did it.

life of the unemployed

Tomorrow I'm off to my promised Bournemouth trip! And although I've just been promised a holiday for a day, I haven't been able to work all of today... bad, bad, bad.

Then I'm back in Bath for a drinks session on Friday, Saturday morn I head for London to spend the weekend with my cousin. London Eye, here I come!

Monday evening, I hop on the coach and it's a ride back to Bath, rest and presentation on Tuesday to HP management. I hope I get some work done in between all this partying. It's just that I've been all work, no play the past few months, and suddenly promise of fun comes...all at once.

Hahahha... I can so hear it now... "She is there partying and not actually studying!"

but hey... I can and so I am doing it! nay nay ni boo boo!

disciplined by age

I hate to admit it - I am getting old.

You know how it is when you wake at 11am in the mornings and feel that that is an accomplishment altogether?

Well not anymore.

I woke at 9am yesterday when my alarm went off. Jumped out of bed, changed, sorted out me laundry, went to do laundry, made coffee, had breakfast, collected washed laundry and hung it out to dry. All this by 10.30.

And felt a sense of accomplishment doing all that before the day started.

Mistake was, I had expresso in the afternoon and slept 3am last night, and couldn't wake till 2pm this afternoon. Woke up feeling "Where the f**k has my day gone?" Was disoriented and directionless for 2 good hours, before deciding that I will make lunch and apply to a few more jobs.

Not sure if I would have been happy having to decide that I need to do work on my Sunday in my past life. But the truth is out - I am old.

motherfuckers

I seriously hate communal living.

Last nite, for some reason, a bunch of 6 residents from my accommodation decided to do an open air unplugged performance - at 2am.

KNNABCXYZ.

Since when in the history of mankind is that considerate behaviour?

I don't fucking care if you are fucking drunk or your creative juices are just about spilling. It's 2 am. There are about 100 other people who are trying to get some rest to work the next day. Like me. I was counting on getting some sleep, and I even went to bed early at 11 yesterday night so that I can catch a few more minutes of rest - seeing that these days, with S and work I've been emotionally and mentally tired.

But oh no. Motherfuckers started strumming their fucking guitar. Doesn't help that the accoustics in the open air area is fantastic. So I was fucking being sernaded. But I am not pleased.

The other mother fucker is the guy Joe has 3am parties in his room, messes up the kitchen and then fucking doesn't appear in the day so that I can tell him off!

Bloody fuckers. They should all be struck by lightning.

photo time

Went to Strada last nite for a meal with me mates, cos it's Tomo's last week in Bath. He is going to SINGAPORE to do his MBA. Sigh. I wish he could pack me in his luggage and ship me off home.

K back to important stuff - the food at Strada. It's gooooooood. Shall bring S there next week. I had the Pollo alla Milanese, it's just chicken breast meat with breadcrumbs, pomodore sauce (tomato lah), roasted veg and butter sauteed beans. Yum. And serving was huge. Antipasti we had pesto e pomodore bread. Just thin crust with a layer of tomato sauce and basil pesto sauce. To die for.

If you click on pix, you can zoom in to see the spaghetti on the table, just between my hair and hand. That's how spaghetti bolognese should look like. Ooodles of noodles, with just about enough sauce to coat it and lots of mince and freshly grated Parmesan. Food orgasm


Got me cous to take pix of B1 and B2 at play at vivocity that day. :) The two are adorable! And B2 is wearing the swimsuit I got for her. Isn't it sweet?