work power - reactivate!

I am knackered! Me body seems to have adjusted so well, erasing all thoughts of how tiring work can be. I actually slept through S's loud snores last night, that almost never happens.

I've just settled into HP Labs and actually knowing exactly what to do next on my project. It has been a month of groping around in the dark. But thankfully my supervisor has been most patient and keeps initiating talks to make sure that I know what's going on.

For the first time in months, I am sitting in front of my computer watching youtube and not feel guilty about it. No thoughts of "Oh shit, I've got to finish another 4 articles of reading" or "Dammit, another 2,400 words to go."

Today I am completely at ease, sitting here with a clear conscience that I've cleared all my work and I truly deserve this break and it's okay not to do anything.

I'd forgotten what it feels like to blank out all thoughts of work and just have time for myself. I needed those periods of blanking out especially when I was at CCH and dreaded work days so much that during weekends my mind would completely switch off.

On the subject of work, I officially applied for a job in the UK yesterday and it is scary. It is a consumer marketing manager position for EMEA and I have all the qualifications that they want. Including an MBA.

*Gulp*

Today a colleague (A) at HP was just discussing with another colleague (B) and A was prompting B to do a business plan. That was where I heard my name come up, and not just once.

"Go ask T how to do it, she has an MBA, she'll be able to help you do the business plan."

*Double gulp*

Expectations. Okay, sure if guy B had approached me, I would have been able to help. But that was just more from work experience than my MBA course. After 10 months and £20,000 later, I am not quite sure if I've gotten smarter and more analytical than when I first started. One thing I do know though is...I can speed read now.

It'll be really interesting to go back to my friends and back to work and see if I've changed with this experience and if I am supposedly more astute in my views of the vicious and backstabbing business world. (Highly unlikely) Some people, it seems that their MBAs have changed their lives. Almost a religious experience (no offense to the religious), but you know what I mean.

Weird thing is, I feel less confident about myself in terms of work than I before I started my course! hehe, Best that I get my ass down to applying a few more jobs and trying out for some interviews!