Serious case of tmi

Ok, there is this colleague in office who is seriously getting to be a pain to be around.

1. All conversations must revolve around her or
2. She must have an opinion or a story(about herself of cos) in all coversations which usually include this story of...
3. "I can't cough. Cos everytime I cough I throw up. " to which I cannot show any more sympathy after hearing it for 50x now.
4. When she wants to go get coffee (to go mind u) she insists that you accompany her. Or after lunch she'll ask,"are u doing anything? Wanna go carrefour?". I usually don't mind trawling supermarkets but not with her cos of points 1, 2 and 3.
5. When you are busy and say you can't go down with her to fucking accompany her to get a takeaway coffee, she loudly goes," why are u like that? Why can't you go down?".... Er cos I'm here to work and I'm not your slave runnin up and down at your beck and call?
6. Talks about her ex constantly. And how hung up he still is about her. Even though he recently married.
7. Talks abt her new White meat she is dating and refers to him as "him". And not by name. Eg. "I wanna buy a mr grumpy shirt for him lah." when she approached some shopping mall cart stalls. Like err I'm sure him has a name. And I even know him. He is called Robert. Or say my boyfriend.
8. Wants to hang out after work to shop (no thanks). And I once wore a new dress to work and she asked me repeatedly ,"I thought you don't like shopping?" I got really pissed off and said," you mean I have to report to you when I go shopping?"


And finally this takes the cake.

One day I walked over to her desk. She said,"oh I just went to my gynae."

Thinking to myself I thought," please don't tell me what problem you have."

Irritating colleague:"oh cos my there the pH is imbalanced lah."

Me: (thinkin) fuck. Why the hell do I need to know this?

Irritating colleague: cos i've been wearing tampons to sleep and when I was in Australia and swimming I used tampons. And now the discharge is a lot and it smells. Not that anyone else can smell it but you know.

Me: (thinking) gawd seriously do i need to know that much? I'm so not winning 4 d this weekend

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