super heart break

Got accepted by Bath Uni, and will be on my way there for one whole year!

It's (shamefully) true. That after 30 something years, this will be my second time out on my own. And the awful truth -- I'm scared as hell.

Everyone tells me that this is going to be the greatest experience of my life. And it should be. So why am I not looking forward to it?

top worries of KBO

1. That people will absolutely HATE me, and hence
   
2. Can't get along with anyone.
3. Be the dumbest person in the MBA class.
4. Life, after borrowing huge amounts of money and forever my ass will be bleeding from the debt, post-MBA will be the same arse crap.
   

Initially was filled with trepidation, that I would sooooooo miss my darlings. Well I still am. I can imagine, in my lonely nights on my single bed, shivering away in cold English winter sounds of Where are you yee yee? will be there to haunt me. But they will never be with me forever. I mean, firstly, they are not my kids. Secondly, fact is that my sister WILL move away.

It's hard not to be pessimistic about things. But from the way things have been going for me, it is hard to positive about things.

My nephew knows that I am going away to study for a year. And just yesterday, while I was preparing to go out for lunch, he came home, and saw me getting ready to go out.

J: Where are you going?
KBO: Out, having lunch with Auntie Yvonne.
J: Why are you having lunch with Auntie Yvonne?
KBO: Cos Yee Yee is going away to study in England for a long time. So she wants to meet me before I go.
J thought that I was leaving for England that very moment. Eyes were all teary
J: But I wouldn't like that. I wouldn't like that I come home and you won't be home. Will you come home, like mommy when she goes out, and I go to bed and wake up and you are home?
Me getting all teary as well.
KBO: No, this is not like that. One year is a long time. But we can talk on the computer.

Super heart melt. Super heart break.