Just a passing ship

In about 3 weeks, I'll be packed and on my way to UK. Not to see Mr S. Things are over between us, which is sudden, but not unexpected.

I think there has to be some element of truth to the fortune-teller's predications. That there are like a million lonely stars in my path and even then will kena tua by a million more morons before woohoo! true love PREVAILS.

I guess after Mr S, it does affect me a little. But for some reason, I'm not quite upset about things, just mentally accepting things that happen. I mean I've seen things with people who were married and broken up, and think, what I've gone through is just a fraction of the pain they've gone through.

Anyway heard this song from "Prime" and fell in love with it immediately. It's called I wish you love

English lyrics by Albert A. Beach
French lyrics and music by Charles L. Trenet

Goodbye, no use leading with our chins
This is where our story ends
Never lovers, ever friends
Goodbye, let our hearts call it a day
But before you walk away
I sincerely want to say
I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss, but more than this
I wish you love

And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
But more than wealth
I wish you love
My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all when snowflakes fall
I wish you love
But most of all when snowflakes fall
I wish you love
I wish you love
I wish you love, love, love, love, love
I wish you love

What I've realised is that, this is scary but true...if the "right" person comes along and asks me to marry him, have his kids, I'll probably say yes. It's probably all genetically programmed in us to want that. Particularly gals. I mean in my head I'm still quite sure I'll never want children. Since I can't even make enough to send myself to business school, what more a child? What if she wants to go to business school? I won't have the kind of money to send her there. It wouldn't be fair to her. Or worst I gotta tell my kids they can't have what they want cause mommy can't afford it?!

Afterall, like I once selfishly told my mom, children didn't ask to be born. If you want children, you have to make sure you give them all they want.

Digressing, digressing.

Back to my point. Yes, I'll probably want children, marriage (order doesn't matter), but with the right man. One who I know will love me for a long long time. We shouldn't sell ourselves short just because some other person:

1. Can't accept us for what we are
2. Can't control his sexual urges
3. Can't treat me right.
4. Can't compromise.

All I ask for is a man who will love me, care for me and be fair and honest to me. I wonder how many men can live up to that?

Just like what my friend Kylie told me, let it be. Let this whole incident be a passing ship and move on.