It's funny how relationships evolve. And I don't mean the guy-gal relationships. But relationships with friends. Just plain old galfriends.
Case in point.
2 - 3 years back, I was really close to this friend of mine whom I've known in ages. An incident happened that made me resolve not to be too close to her. To be honest, I didn't know relationships with girlfriends needed the usual watering of egos, etc. I thought it was bad having to do that to the guy-relationships!
Anyway,...
All through my knowing this gal, whom we shall call Polly, I've introduced her to my other friends. And over time, she has gotten close to this other circle of my friends. But I observed that as I introduced more friends from work/gym to her, she would then leech herself upon them. Text them in my absence, ask them out for coffee/movies/shopping without me.
I was a bit offended to be honest. Afterall, they were my friends to begin with. And I would appreciate a bit of courtesy of being invited to such activities. But another close friend Sally from work concurred on my observations. Which led me to believe that she was doing that on purpose, and only to me.
There were times when she would find out stuff about my relationship with Mr. S and then at opportune time, blabbed them out to the circle of friends whom she is now centre figure. Just to prove that she knew what was happening in my life. Sally observed that as well. And in the short course of 3 months or so, Sally found out all there is to know about our circle of friends, their activties, through Polly.
And all I started having negative thoughts about this friend, and began avoiding all contact with her.
I asked myself the questions of if
1. Am I jealous of this gal?
2. Why do I behave like that?
3. Am I selfish? Or is she behaving weirdly?
Which leads me to think that perhaps Polly is not such a "simple" person afterall. I am not sure if it's just her personality that is so or maybe she has changed? I felt that she was rather plasticky to others, and would always want to win in conversations.
Sally said, let her be. She is perhaps jealous of me (??)
Whatever it is, I'll just have to keep my distance. Maybe it's me who has changed? I don't know.
But I know there are true friends who will keep me close to their hearts, and hopefully not be swayed, or deceived by her.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
zum Geburtstag viel Glück
heute habe ich Geburtstag... YEAH! Aber ich bin müde. Meine Collegen sind so so nett. Sie haben meinen Geburtstag gefieret!
You know I just chanced upon this website where this guy, while celebrating his 33rd birthday has a cupcake (cos I was searching images of cupcakes) image on his blog. But that's not the interesting bit. He has decided to take 1 shot everyday for 10 yrs! Ain't that something? Anyway I'm not sure if the above image will link u to it, but here's the link again
http://tenyearsofmylife.com/2005/10/10/
Anyway, like my cousin said -- Hope this year will be one with better luck for me than previous years. :) And it will!
Oh. hmmm i want cupcakes for my birthday next yr!
Photo credit: Matthew Haughey, from his blog Ten Years of My Life
Saturday, February 25, 2006
argh... impending bday
Birthday alert on all time high. All me friends are asking what am I doing 8th March. To be honest, I don't really care for birthdays. Especially where I am now. Just makes things feel like you're a REAL failure.
Dage was saying that she read a book where this person kill herself cos everyday was the same.
You know what? I can completely understand that?!?
This blog is starting to sound like some manically depressed single gal. Hmmm.
More money would be good. If that ain't happenin'? What next?
Men? Sigh. For some reason, tho I know the importance of money, I can't seem to keep it. I'll like to attribute it to the stars -- that I can't save. But honestly, I think it's just me!!
Mr. S said he is likely to come over next Wednesday -- WOOHOOO! :) I'm just happy to see him again. If he does come. The last time he said he would, he didn't and I was rather pissed. Not his fault of course. He had work. I was just pissed with the entire situation of things.
Hopefully he'll be here. I gotta get me camera back. I realised that when I was in Bath, we didn't take any pictures together. So much for being a couple.
hahah Oh .. we screwed Pangpang's mind yesternite. Told him I was getting married. That was sooooooooooo hilarious. I mean, ME? MARRIED? You gotta be out of your mind!
I will only marry for one thing - money. hahah :) But at this rate I'm going, doesn't look that that's gonna be a viable option for me.
I guess I'm happy to have Mr. S. Though I'm hopin' n hopin' that the fortune teller's predictions don't come true.
Breathe. Gonna see my KL mei now, then back home for GMAT. Got a headache.
:)
Dage was saying that she read a book where this person kill herself cos everyday was the same.
You know what? I can completely understand that?!?
This blog is starting to sound like some manically depressed single gal. Hmmm.
I wonder how how how... can I make myself happy?
More money would be good. If that ain't happenin'? What next?
Men? Sigh. For some reason, tho I know the importance of money, I can't seem to keep it. I'll like to attribute it to the stars -- that I can't save. But honestly, I think it's just me!!
Mr. S said he is likely to come over next Wednesday -- WOOHOOO! :) I'm just happy to see him again. If he does come. The last time he said he would, he didn't and I was rather pissed. Not his fault of course. He had work. I was just pissed with the entire situation of things.
Hopefully he'll be here. I gotta get me camera back. I realised that when I was in Bath, we didn't take any pictures together. So much for being a couple.
hahah Oh .. we screwed Pangpang's mind yesternite. Told him I was getting married. That was sooooooooooo hilarious. I mean, ME? MARRIED? You gotta be out of your mind!
I will only marry for one thing - money. hahah :) But at this rate I'm going, doesn't look that that's gonna be a viable option for me.
I guess I'm happy to have Mr. S. Though I'm hopin' n hopin' that the fortune teller's predictions don't come true.
Breathe. Gonna see my KL mei now, then back home for GMAT. Got a headache.
:)
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Never believe this is the lowest point, cos it CAN get lower.
I had just about the worst day of my career.
I wish that life will get better. I don't like being pessimistic about things, but things haven't been going well for a few years now.
My job's stagnant.
My boss is a cunt
Her boss supports her.
You know, at the end of the day, nothing is more important than support from your line manager. Someone whom you can look up to. Someone whom you feel you can bounce ideas off. And someone who believes in you.
I can't seem to get out of this situation. I feel so helpless. It's weird, but I've kinda gotten desensitised to the lousy life I've had. And yet, I am longing that things will turn better.
I don't know does it seem that hard? Find a new job, earn more money. Just a simple life. I don't crave to climb the corporate ladder.
You know I read somewhere that says -- you don't have to be jealous about others, cos sometimes you win, and sometimes others will win. So it all evens out.
Doesn't seem to have happened here.
It's times like these, you wonder, what is your purpose on earth? Nothing is fulfilling. I've a boyfriend who is miles and miles away. And it doesn't look like we're about to be together that soon. Job that sucks.
Mom and dad aren't feeling well. And I can't just leave them alone. It's unfair cos my married siblings are free to take off and start their families else where. I am expected to stay on and look after my parents. Thankfully my sister is not thinking of moving else where at the moment. I know we have to pay our dues when it comes to looking after our parents, I am grateful to have my sister around. But if some opportunity were to come up, who's to say she'll not move?
Why would anyone want to have children to put them through such torment that I'm going through?
I wish that life will get better. I don't like being pessimistic about things, but things haven't been going well for a few years now.
My job's stagnant.
My boss is a cunt
Her boss supports her.
You know, at the end of the day, nothing is more important than support from your line manager. Someone whom you can look up to. Someone whom you feel you can bounce ideas off. And someone who believes in you.
I can't seem to get out of this situation. I feel so helpless. It's weird, but I've kinda gotten desensitised to the lousy life I've had. And yet, I am longing that things will turn better.
I don't know does it seem that hard? Find a new job, earn more money. Just a simple life. I don't crave to climb the corporate ladder.
You know I read somewhere that says -- you don't have to be jealous about others, cos sometimes you win, and sometimes others will win. So it all evens out.
Doesn't seem to have happened here.
It's times like these, you wonder, what is your purpose on earth? Nothing is fulfilling. I've a boyfriend who is miles and miles away. And it doesn't look like we're about to be together that soon. Job that sucks.
Mom and dad aren't feeling well. And I can't just leave them alone. It's unfair cos my married siblings are free to take off and start their families else where. I am expected to stay on and look after my parents. Thankfully my sister is not thinking of moving else where at the moment. I know we have to pay our dues when it comes to looking after our parents, I am grateful to have my sister around. But if some opportunity were to come up, who's to say she'll not move?
Why would anyone want to have children to put them through such torment that I'm going through?
Sunday, February 19, 2006
The One
I'm sure that out there, millions of gals still believe in THE ONE. I'm not talking about Matrix here. You know the ONE guy for you, or the one gal for u.
I'm not too sure about it. When can you be sure he is it?
With age, (yes, in my many many years of experience) you kinda have more realistic expectations of who you want in life. So sorry Mr. Pitt, you'll have to stick with Angelina.
I met Mr. S on a holiday, it was just going to be like holiday fun, him taking me out to view the sights and sounds over 2 days. I never expected it'll stay on till now.
It's been six months. Much longer than some of my other relationships.
He's turned out perfect. Initially I had my fair share of fears, thanks to concern friends and relatives who thought that he could be some pyschotic killer, man waiting to sell asian gals into sex trade, sex maniac (why would he want to have some crazy money and time consuming affair with a gal 10,000km away?)
He's funny, smart, caring, fanatical about gym, cheeky and sexy and well...crazy about me.
And I ask myself, what's holding me back? (other than the fact that for me to be in this relationship, I have to UPROOT myself to be with him).
I mean he is perfect and he swears that he'll take care of me, love me, share his life with me. He's all that I ask for in a guy.
What if it doesn't work out?
Some fear of a soothsayer predictions that my relationships before 35 will all fizzle might come true. I honestly regret going to the fortune teller.
It's his birthday next week and I really wanted him to be here. But he isn't. It sucks but we have April. Two whole glorious weeks to decide where this is going to bring us.
Maybe it's like what I read in an article somewhere, I just have to enjoy the ride, and not worry about where it leads me at this point in time. Let's repeat that for 1,000 times and have it sink into my head. :) Hey baby. Love u.
I'm not too sure about it. When can you be sure he is it?
With age, (yes, in my many many years of experience) you kinda have more realistic expectations of who you want in life. So sorry Mr. Pitt, you'll have to stick with Angelina.
I met Mr. S on a holiday, it was just going to be like holiday fun, him taking me out to view the sights and sounds over 2 days. I never expected it'll stay on till now.
It's been six months. Much longer than some of my other relationships.
He's turned out perfect. Initially I had my fair share of fears, thanks to concern friends and relatives who thought that he could be some pyschotic killer, man waiting to sell asian gals into sex trade, sex maniac (why would he want to have some crazy money and time consuming affair with a gal 10,000km away?)
He's funny, smart, caring, fanatical about gym, cheeky and sexy and well...crazy about me.
And I ask myself, what's holding me back? (other than the fact that for me to be in this relationship, I have to UPROOT myself to be with him).
I mean he is perfect and he swears that he'll take care of me, love me, share his life with me. He's all that I ask for in a guy.
What if it doesn't work out?
Some fear of a soothsayer predictions that my relationships before 35 will all fizzle might come true. I honestly regret going to the fortune teller.
It's his birthday next week and I really wanted him to be here. But he isn't. It sucks but we have April. Two whole glorious weeks to decide where this is going to bring us.
Maybe it's like what I read in an article somewhere, I just have to enjoy the ride, and not worry about where it leads me at this point in time. Let's repeat that for 1,000 times and have it sink into my head. :) Hey baby. Love u.
Monday Blues on a Sunday morning
This had to come out sooner or later -- my public dislike for my c**theaded colleague Ms C.
Never in my life have I seen such a brillant mix of stupidity, stubborness, lack of diplomacy and incompetency all rolled into one. It's like she is the perfect female version of the pointy-haired boss in Dilbert.
Just to let you know how much I truly dislike the c**t here are just a few names which run through the course of the day that will fit her perfectly:
1. c**t
2. twit
3. ideas-stealer
4. peabrain swimming in a cranium of water
5. Zero EQ
6. For that matter -- zero IQ.
Oh well at least there is a free lunch -- literally speaking. There is a co. function and we'll all forced to sit in to listen. I don't mind as long as some bugger up there has a big vision and thinks he can make a difference, someone with a business sense. I don't think this co. will be in this bad stage, had it not been for the in-between "line managers and management" that run the co.
If murder were legal, Ms C would have been dead by now. I really felt like taking a knife and stabbing her Friday. It'll be gratifying.
Oh well I gotta get my exit strategy in order, which will entail mucking around on the internet less and studyin!!!
it's 12.07, deliberating if i should go to the gym.
Never in my life have I seen such a brillant mix of stupidity, stubborness, lack of diplomacy and incompetency all rolled into one. It's like she is the perfect female version of the pointy-haired boss in Dilbert.
Just to let you know how much I truly dislike the c**t here are just a few names which run through the course of the day that will fit her perfectly:
1. c**t
2. twit
3. ideas-stealer
4. peabrain swimming in a cranium of water
5. Zero EQ
6. For that matter -- zero IQ.
hmmm how can I feel happy trudging into office tomorrow?
Oh well at least there is a free lunch -- literally speaking. There is a co. function and we'll all forced to sit in to listen. I don't mind as long as some bugger up there has a big vision and thinks he can make a difference, someone with a business sense. I don't think this co. will be in this bad stage, had it not been for the in-between "line managers and management" that run the co.
If murder were legal, Ms C would have been dead by now. I really felt like taking a knife and stabbing her Friday. It'll be gratifying.
Oh well I gotta get my exit strategy in order, which will entail mucking around on the internet less and studyin!!!
it's 12.07, deliberating if i should go to the gym.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
i am a tiger hear me roar...
hahah so funny to see B2 roar today. must take a video of the gal. She is getting cuter n cuter by the day. And the darling of my life B1, ain't he the sweetest? Took a cornetto and said will share it with his yee yee. That boy's gonna break a lot of hearts in the future. of cos, in my typical style, the content of this blog will have nothing to do with the title or the picture. Why do the good people in the TV programs division think that NO ONE IS HOME on Saturdays? Hey.. I know a great number of people who are home, and channel surfing. 30 channels and nothing to watch. what are the odds?! Something abt bootcamp ballroom dancing.. EXCUSE ME LOR who the hell is interested? K.. at least there is Charlie's Angels on AXn... for the 110th time! Still, Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu, both beat watching some housewife tryin' to dance. Kitty B is lying on my bed... sigh... she is disintegrating. The day she/he (still cant figure out after XX something yrs) disintegrates, I'll probably suffer from manic depression. But till then.. I'll sniff till my lungs are choked with hairball. :P Sigh. Mr. S isn't coming over to sunny island for his birthday. I guess I'll have to wait till April then... huh? huh? huh?
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