...call me innocent, naive, dumb, simple, whatever, but I just cannot imagine how evil humans can be. They harbour such ill and sick intentions towards other people. My personal policy is:if no one annoys me, I wouldn't even be bothered with them. And even then, my dream revenge would be something really as "ordinary" as hoping you get knocked down by a car while crossing the road - you know something that the forces greater than me will enact it on my behalf, just becos...they are evil rat droppings.
I was in Vietnam, Ho Chi Minh city to be exact, the scene of where Americans fought the Vietcongs. I actually went to Cu Chi tunnel, an area where 250km of underground tunnel was dug with just a simple hoe and bamboo basket. I was just amazed. The tenacity of the Vietcongs, sheer willpower not to be overtaken by the Americans. And the Americans honestly, have they no regard for the lives that they are taking?
*sigh*
There was news today of this 72 year old Austrian who drugged his then 18 year old daughter, put her in a dungeon for 24 years, raped her and fathered 7 children, WITH HIS OWN DAUGHTER! As if that wasn't perverse enough, he raised 3 of the 7 with his wife and the other 3 in captivity; they've never seen daylight before.
What kind of sick man would do something like that to his own flesh and blood? And all that lying and deceiving to people close to him to satisfy himself? It's like Steven. Why would you go out and hurt people who haven't done anything to you? It's just such an evil mind that I cannot even believe that such people can exist. And yet they do, and in numbers more than ONE! Scary shit.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
restless
It suddenly hit me today. That my routine now could possibly be the same for the rest of my life. I am feeling a bit upset about it. Especially after looking at some of my pictures in Bath. Where did all that time go? I miss it lots. I know for certain that the job that I'm in is not something that I will want to do for very long. And I can feel my brains which were so challenged during the MBA, are starting to slow down.
Suddenly I miss corporate life. I miss the UK. I miss my freedom and space. I miss learning something new, trying something new every other week. Is it possible that that feeling cannot always exist? It can't be.
I just want to have a sense that my future will be good. It doesn't feel like it will be at this point. Yes, it feels good now, things are great - job, family, car. Is that all there is in life? It feels like you're drowning and just trying to gasp for a breath of fresh air. And that air is just refreshing and oh-so-important to remind you of what it means to be alive. I feel myself dying inside again. Bored with the life in Singapore. Sure I can go through the motions of living here and working here. But just something is missing.
Suddenly I miss corporate life. I miss the UK. I miss my freedom and space. I miss learning something new, trying something new every other week. Is it possible that that feeling cannot always exist? It can't be.
I just want to have a sense that my future will be good. It doesn't feel like it will be at this point. Yes, it feels good now, things are great - job, family, car. Is that all there is in life? It feels like you're drowning and just trying to gasp for a breath of fresh air. And that air is just refreshing and oh-so-important to remind you of what it means to be alive. I feel myself dying inside again. Bored with the life in Singapore. Sure I can go through the motions of living here and working here. But just something is missing.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
when shit hits the ceiling
To be honest I think either 1. I am not cut out for my current job or 2. I am over-loaded. This job isn't something completely new. I have done it before yet so many stupid mistakes.
Had hell from client today for an oversight. And more oversights. Worked till 12am today. And to top it all off, I lost my car key.
That sinking feeling at work just came back today. I haven't felt that in over 2 years. And just today it came back - like I'm not good enough.
Obviously there is not much of a silver lining to these 16 hour workdays. I haven't even lost a single ounce of lard. Oh well, it pays the bills - memorise and repeat like 100000000x.
Had hell from client today for an oversight. And more oversights. Worked till 12am today. And to top it all off, I lost my car key.
That sinking feeling at work just came back today. I haven't felt that in over 2 years. And just today it came back - like I'm not good enough.
Obviously there is not much of a silver lining to these 16 hour workdays. I haven't even lost a single ounce of lard. Oh well, it pays the bills - memorise and repeat like 100000000x.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
3 things that I am truly grateful for.
K, least I sound like one of those ungrateful bitches who are always whining about the not-enoughs in life. Here's my list of things which I am grateful for, at least for today :)
Of cos there are other things that I am grateful for. Like my year away and meeting such great people. I just hope I don't ever forget.
- Singlehood
- Rascals, family & friends
- A job, a car and many material things that money can buy.
Of cos there are other things that I am grateful for. Like my year away and meeting such great people. I just hope I don't ever forget.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
baptism by hell's fire
It's season of new beginnings. I just started my new job 4 weeks ago. Geez, has it been that fast? Been working shit long hours so much so that when my new macbook (which rocks!) came, I left it sitting on the coffee table, untouched, unopened for a good 4 days. Work's good so far, no complaints. Except that life has become just work and nothing else. I have no time for anything. Not even bringing out my Harry for a spin. That's the new love of my life - my new car :)Work has been really hectic, quite fulfilling and I am learning some stuff, so it ain't all that bad yet. Except the crazy hours. Well everything in perspective, at least it pays the bills. Just haven't been very inspired to write in Singapore. I just feel like the MBA year came and went too fast. I do miss it though. I was just looking at some stock images of the UK and I suddenly missed it loads. Steven, now that names are not anonymously hidden to protect the idiots turned out to be a bigger asshole that I originally thought.
But it's good where I am in life now. Non of that emotional baggage. Got a new car, a new job, a new mac and best of all 10mbps broadband. A new addiction to watching videos online :)
But it's good where I am in life now. Non of that emotional baggage. Got a new car, a new job, a new mac and best of all 10mbps broadband. A new addiction to watching videos online :)
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Deutsch vergessen
Pardon me my loyal blog readers, but today's post will be in German. Just because...
Meine Freundin hat heute mich angerufen. Sie fragt mich, was ist denn ß auf Deutsch. Naturlich habe ich es schon lange vergessen. Mein Deutsch Akiv steht in meinem Schrank. Ich habe es genommen und gelesen. Aber, ich koennte das Antwort nicht finden.
Meine Freundin hat heute mich angerufen. Sie fragt mich, was ist denn ß auf Deutsch. Naturlich habe ich es schon lange vergessen. Mein Deutsch Akiv steht in meinem Schrank. Ich habe es genommen und gelesen. Aber, ich koennte das Antwort nicht finden.
Ich habe das Post am den 26 Februar geschrieben. Aber nach 3 oder 4 Satzen habe ich es angehalten.
Seit denn ist so viel passiert. Ich arbeite jetzt. Bei einer agency. Und jeder Tag arbeite ich vom 8am bis 12 mittelnacht. Und auch am Wochenende. Jetzt bin ich muede und habe ich nicht so viel Spass. Ich habe auch nicht mit dem Mann gesprochen. Er luegt. Alles die er mir gesagt hat, die sind Lugen. Ich bin natuerlich traurig darueber. Es ist fuer mich besser.
Ich frag mich, warum treffe ich immer, immer so wie scheisse sind? Und heute ist den 28 April 2008, und ich vermisse ihn.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
singlehood
I watched Hitch yesternight. In one scene, Eva Mendes was trying to talk her friend out of desperation and said, "You're not sick, you're just single!"
I completely cracked up listening to that line. It was the fourth time I had seen the movie (not cos it's my absolute fave movie, but cos of Starworld's fantastic line up of movies), but it was the first time that I caught that line. And just thinking about it, it's so, so true. How many hours have I spent in long discussions as to what should we do, analysing the dire situation of what strange creatures men are and how completely disastrous singlehood can be and oooo what we should do to remedy it. How can we spend so many hours of our lives thinking that we're single cos there's something wrong with us? We're always not skinny enough, not fat enough, not good enough, not loving enough. Nothing from us is ever enough for the one we love. And we beat ourselves up for it and blame those reasons for our singlehood. That is such a load of bull.
Honestly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with us. If the other person can't take us, sod them and they can go f*ck spider. They are probably the mental ones. I know I am goodlooking, intelligent and an extremely lovely person, so your big loss if you don't get it.
Do I seriously think that men sit around having those same conversations, wasting a perfectly good Saturday afternoon on "inane" discussions like these? I don't think so. The only though that runs through a man's small brain is," Geez, how can I get into her pants?"
Seriously, I reiterate, cos I am quite sure that I have this recorded somewhere in this blog...statistically women outnumber men, so no matter how we moan and lament about the sad state of men on this planet, there will always be more more single women than men. Unless you are happy to accept lying, cheating bastards or polygamy, which personally I can't, you're probably much better off alone. There I said it, and you can always quote me on this and no need to thank me on this piece of wisdom.
If men aren't going to bother wasting their time in utterly mindless and completely unproductive conversations, we're probably better off spending time doing stuff we like. Me...I know how I can spend that time - bitching, shopping and rascalling .
Now that we've established that there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single, the answer is probably as simple as this: maybe the men just aren't good enough for us.
PS. I got a job. :) Just when you least expect it, it comes knocking. I am definitely excited by the role and I hope I do well! Just have to channel all that energy in useless conversations into something productive.
I completely cracked up listening to that line. It was the fourth time I had seen the movie (not cos it's my absolute fave movie, but cos of Starworld's fantastic line up of movies), but it was the first time that I caught that line. And just thinking about it, it's so, so true. How many hours have I spent in long discussions as to what should we do, analysing the dire situation of what strange creatures men are and how completely disastrous singlehood can be and oooo what we should do to remedy it. How can we spend so many hours of our lives thinking that we're single cos there's something wrong with us? We're always not skinny enough, not fat enough, not good enough, not loving enough. Nothing from us is ever enough for the one we love. And we beat ourselves up for it and blame those reasons for our singlehood. That is such a load of bull.
Honestly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with us. If the other person can't take us, sod them and they can go f*ck spider. They are probably the mental ones. I know I am goodlooking, intelligent and an extremely lovely person, so your big loss if you don't get it.
Do I seriously think that men sit around having those same conversations, wasting a perfectly good Saturday afternoon on "inane" discussions like these? I don't think so. The only though that runs through a man's small brain is," Geez, how can I get into her pants?"
Seriously, I reiterate, cos I am quite sure that I have this recorded somewhere in this blog...statistically women outnumber men, so no matter how we moan and lament about the sad state of men on this planet, there will always be more more single women than men. Unless you are happy to accept lying, cheating bastards or polygamy, which personally I can't, you're probably much better off alone. There I said it, and you can always quote me on this and no need to thank me on this piece of wisdom.
If men aren't going to bother wasting their time in utterly mindless and completely unproductive conversations, we're probably better off spending time doing stuff we like. Me...I know how I can spend that time - bitching, shopping and rascalling .
Now that we've established that there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single, the answer is probably as simple as this: maybe the men just aren't good enough for us.
PS. I got a job. :) Just when you least expect it, it comes knocking. I am definitely excited by the role and I hope I do well! Just have to channel all that energy in useless conversations into something productive.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
recruitment best practices...
... seriously, why do so many companies suck , suck, suck at it? Why can't you see that candidates aren't really out to lie, cheat, or abuse your company, can't you treat potential candidates as talents that can help your business? Afterall, I don't owe you living. I am just interviewing for a potential job.
Case number 1:
Went for an interview yesterday and the HR thought that I was going for an temp position, the hiring manager had in mind a permanent position. The hiring manager didn't even bring in my resume for the interview and was somewhat patronising thinking that she had the experience. But when I questioned her about the day-to-day activities and growth plans for the division, her answer was "Oh there are lots of meetings...and sometimes I don't even know what we do in the meetings“
＊ 流眼泪＊
And she couldn't tell me what the growth plans were - her answers were like business as usual activities.
Double 流眼泪
Case number 2:
After sending in your resume, the recruiter or hiring manager requests for an interview only to tell u that you don't have the experience in the particular industry.
*Duh* can't u see that on my resume right from the start? Why are you wasting my time?!
The best part was with a headhunting firm, the recruiter told me I didn't have the experience and asked if I had other candidates for him.*seriously, wtf?*
Another one, to have the hiring manager put you down, saying that as a manager you should have like many contacts and not be doing what I was doing.
Case number 3:
Going for a couple rounds of interviews and then NOTHING, nada. No response as to what is the outcome. If your candidate has the decency to take time off to meet up with you, the least you can do is to tell them "We're still sorting things out" or "Sorry you've not been shortlisted". Closure, you know?
Case number 4:
Making your candidate wait. Once I was told to meet at 5pm for a second round of interview, and because it was sort of a family runned business, the CEO had to meet me. But the CEO was extremely busy that week and on that day when I went for the interview, he was doing an internal meeting that overan... by 2.5 hours and with no end in sight. I walked out of that interview.
Mind is fuzzy, can't think of anything to write. Am quite sick and with my luck I have to report of temp work tmr. Joy!
Case number 1:
Went for an interview yesterday and the HR thought that I was going for an temp position, the hiring manager had in mind a permanent position. The hiring manager didn't even bring in my resume for the interview and was somewhat patronising thinking that she had the experience. But when I questioned her about the day-to-day activities and growth plans for the division, her answer was "Oh there are lots of meetings...and sometimes I don't even know what we do in the meetings“
＊ 流眼泪＊
And she couldn't tell me what the growth plans were - her answers were like business as usual activities.
Double 流眼泪
Case number 2:
After sending in your resume, the recruiter or hiring manager requests for an interview only to tell u that you don't have the experience in the particular industry.
*Duh* can't u see that on my resume right from the start? Why are you wasting my time?!
The best part was with a headhunting firm, the recruiter told me I didn't have the experience and asked if I had other candidates for him.*seriously, wtf?*
Another one, to have the hiring manager put you down, saying that as a manager you should have like many contacts and not be doing what I was doing.
Case number 3:
Going for a couple rounds of interviews and then NOTHING, nada. No response as to what is the outcome. If your candidate has the decency to take time off to meet up with you, the least you can do is to tell them "We're still sorting things out" or "Sorry you've not been shortlisted". Closure, you know?
Case number 4:
Making your candidate wait. Once I was told to meet at 5pm for a second round of interview, and because it was sort of a family runned business, the CEO had to meet me. But the CEO was extremely busy that week and on that day when I went for the interview, he was doing an internal meeting that overan... by 2.5 hours and with no end in sight. I walked out of that interview.
Mind is fuzzy, can't think of anything to write. Am quite sick and with my luck I have to report of temp work tmr. Joy!
Friday, January 18, 2008
why nice girls finish last...
Borrowed a book from Sally that was recommended by my other friend Kylie. It's called Why men love bitches. It's a fantastic read, especially to girls, who are always there for the men. (Sad to say I am guilty of that when I'm in a relationship) Girls who are nice, who always try to overcompensate by doing extras for the men, often have men running in the other direction for other women. Other women who sometimes are so fugly, you go...
"WHY?!?!?! She's so fugly and yet has a man, and I AM STILL SINGLE?!?!?!"
It's not rocket science, really. From past relationships, you know that the more you ignore a man, the more you make him go for the hunt, the more affectionate he becomes. And in fact he starts paying more attention to you.
I asked S if he thinks I was tooooo nice that he stepped all over me.
His answer,"No, I just wasn't in the mood when you visited."
Translation: Yes, you were such an easy target that I had you at my beck and call.
Well, now that we have a 10,000 miles distance between us, 8 hour time difference, broken up, and with me mostly stressed out with no work and so not really bothering with him, he seems to pay a little more attention, with regular pepperings of "I miss you." He even said he would have driven to London to see me, if I was there. (Hmmm talk is cheap, even at the height when the relationship was hot, hot, hot!! he wouldn't even do a 3 hour drive to Surrey).
Anyway, today he is back to his usual self, "I wouldn't even go to Bath to see you today."
That's his affection-o-meter. Talk about women being moody. Men are like 1,000,000,000,000x worst. S was in mostly that mood when I was in Bath the one year. He needed time to sort out his thinking. And the moment I moved 3 boxes of my life possessions back to Singapore and cut off all links in the UK, he's suddenly cleared his thinking about me. (And I am STILL waiting to hear what that verdict is) Not that I think things can work out between us now, or ever, but with him sometimes being affectionate, my resolve to stay split melts a little.
Back to the book. It's about self-respect. About loving yourself enough not to let others treat you bad. And I think that's what I have to learn. If they can't make time for you, sod them. Girlfriends or boyfriends alike.
That's when I told S that it's best he go to gym to get some happy hormones in him cos I wouldn't get on any plane to see him either.
"WHY?!?!?! She's so fugly and yet has a man, and I AM STILL SINGLE?!?!?!"
It's not rocket science, really. From past relationships, you know that the more you ignore a man, the more you make him go for the hunt, the more affectionate he becomes. And in fact he starts paying more attention to you.
I asked S if he thinks I was tooooo nice that he stepped all over me.
His answer,"No, I just wasn't in the mood when you visited."
Translation: Yes, you were such an easy target that I had you at my beck and call.
Well, now that we have a 10,000 miles distance between us, 8 hour time difference, broken up, and with me mostly stressed out with no work and so not really bothering with him, he seems to pay a little more attention, with regular pepperings of "I miss you." He even said he would have driven to London to see me, if I was there. (Hmmm talk is cheap, even at the height when the relationship was hot, hot, hot!! he wouldn't even do a 3 hour drive to Surrey).
Anyway, today he is back to his usual self, "I wouldn't even go to Bath to see you today."
That's his affection-o-meter. Talk about women being moody. Men are like 1,000,000,000,000x worst. S was in mostly that mood when I was in Bath the one year. He needed time to sort out his thinking. And the moment I moved 3 boxes of my life possessions back to Singapore and cut off all links in the UK, he's suddenly cleared his thinking about me. (And I am STILL waiting to hear what that verdict is) Not that I think things can work out between us now, or ever, but with him sometimes being affectionate, my resolve to stay split melts a little.
Back to the book. It's about self-respect. About loving yourself enough not to let others treat you bad. And I think that's what I have to learn. If they can't make time for you, sod them. Girlfriends or boyfriends alike.
That's when I told S that it's best he go to gym to get some happy hormones in him cos I wouldn't get on any plane to see him either.
Monday, January 14, 2008
na, na, na, na, na, na...
Okay this is an old Gorillaz song, but it came on tv earlier and it's the sort of tune that gets your fingers tapping and ass moving and stuck in your head for the rest of the day!!!!!! So heck, turn up the volume and start singing....
Get the cool, get the cool shoe shine....Get the cool, get the cool shoe shine.
btw, this is the 200th post!! Can't believe I have that much trash to blog.
na, na, na, na, na, na...
Get the cool, get the cool shoe shine....Get the cool, get the cool shoe shine.
btw, this is the 200th post!! Can't believe I have that much trash to blog.
na, na, na, na, na, na...
Saturday, January 05, 2008
withheld number
I've a mobile number that's so easy to remember, it's almost more of a curse than a blessing to have it. I get misdialled numbers almost everyday. Thank goodness incoming calls are free.
This afternoon I received a call. On me blinking screen it said "Withheld number"
Caller: Hello, *mumble, mumble*
Me: Pardon?
Caller: Who are you?
Me: T. Who are YOU?
Caller: Did you call a chat line just now?
Me: WHAT? (more a rhetorical question to a stupid question than a genuine what question)... NO!
Caller: Oh, okay...
He had a split second pause and he probably thought he could try his luck since he couldn't get his original chat partner, he asked me...
'What did you say your name was again?'
Me: You called the wrong number! Bye!
Oh come on, you sound so unattractive on the phone. Did you think you're god's gift to women that they get soooooooo turned on when they listen to you? For fuck's sake!
This afternoon I received a call. On me blinking screen it said "Withheld number"
Caller: Hello, *mumble, mumble*
Me: Pardon?
Caller: Who are you?
Me: T. Who are YOU?
Caller: Did you call a chat line just now?
Me: WHAT? (more a rhetorical question to a stupid question than a genuine what question)... NO!
Caller: Oh, okay...
He had a split second pause and he probably thought he could try his luck since he couldn't get his original chat partner, he asked me...
'What did you say your name was again?'
Me: You called the wrong number! Bye!
Oh come on, you sound so unattractive on the phone. Did you think you're god's gift to women that they get soooooooo turned on when they listen to you? For fuck's sake!
Friday, January 04, 2008
unemployment benefits
- No stress from anyone
- Get to sleep till 12pm (unless woken up by constant drilling from lift upgrading, but even then I've learned to sleep through it.)
- Time - lots of time. Time to do anything you want, best paired with a bottomless bank account
- Going to bed at 3am and not worrying about getting up early (see point 2)
- No Monday blues
- Shop at odd hours of the day so that you don't squeeze with crowds
- Go gym at odd hours of the day (If and when I eventually get there)
- Sit by Starbucks and watch the world go by
- Best part of it all *drum rolls* play with the rascals!
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
2008 is the year to ...
...be fabulous!
That's the creed for the year. Though I am seriously not for one to make resolutions, but I figured, humans (me included, of course) are creatures, who despite being one of the smartest things on earth, still need guidelines to live by. We need to set certain targets, work real hard towards it, and then feel happier at the end that we've achieved something. Otherwise all that idle time we start thinking that life is a bore, there's no meaning and end up degenerating and keep chanting that things are so sian.
So here it is, I am setting objectives and tasks for myself, no matter for whatever it is I do. Doesn't matter if I fail (of cos succeeding would be a whole lot sweeter) what is important is the experience of the journey. I am starting to dig this reflective practice crap that I had to do for my MBA. I think it's really positive. It basically tells us to try things in different ways to challenge the way we handle situations. It could be the way you react to someone, or the way you try to change the environment. But it's this whole trying out different scenarios and reflect on what's the best possible way to an outcome. So far it has been fun doing this reflective practice shit.
Be fabulous
:) It came from a Möet & Chandon campaign that I saw at Bellini Room while counting down last night. :) It was good. I had forgotten what it was like to go out for drinks and dance the night away. This compared to last year's was soooooo different. I was driving to York this time last year.
Of course I was constrained by a nagging thought that I shouldn't be extravagant, seeing that there are no jobs in sight and bank account is bordering on "you're in serious shit". So yes, I paid $35 for entrance fee, got a vodka lime, demanded for my party pack and plotted half the night to nick a party hat from one of them early party-goers. Then happily trudged to the train station to catch the late train back home. Thank goodness for the North-East Line! I am feeling quite happy these days. More critical and bitchy about a lot of other things, but happier hahhaha. Taking about resolutions, this is such a good relationship resolution written by one of me favourite blogger Heather Hunter.
16 hours into the new year and already I have broken my resolution to be on my all effective diet. I made my tortilla de patatas and pan con tomate for breakfast today.
Ladies & gents, I present to u my first Tortilla de patatas y pan con tomate
That's the creed for the year. Though I am seriously not for one to make resolutions, but I figured, humans (me included, of course) are creatures, who despite being one of the smartest things on earth, still need guidelines to live by. We need to set certain targets, work real hard towards it, and then feel happier at the end that we've achieved something. Otherwise all that idle time we start thinking that life is a bore, there's no meaning and end up degenerating and keep chanting that things are so sian.
So here it is, I am setting objectives and tasks for myself, no matter for whatever it is I do. Doesn't matter if I fail (of cos succeeding would be a whole lot sweeter) what is important is the experience of the journey. I am starting to dig this reflective practice crap that I had to do for my MBA. I think it's really positive. It basically tells us to try things in different ways to challenge the way we handle situations. It could be the way you react to someone, or the way you try to change the environment. But it's this whole trying out different scenarios and reflect on what's the best possible way to an outcome. So far it has been fun doing this reflective practice shit.
Be fabulous
:) It came from a Möet & Chandon campaign that I saw at Bellini Room while counting down last night. :) It was good. I had forgotten what it was like to go out for drinks and dance the night away. This compared to last year's was soooooo different. I was driving to York this time last year.
Of course I was constrained by a nagging thought that I shouldn't be extravagant, seeing that there are no jobs in sight and bank account is bordering on "you're in serious shit". So yes, I paid $35 for entrance fee, got a vodka lime, demanded for my party pack and plotted half the night to nick a party hat from one of them early party-goers. Then happily trudged to the train station to catch the late train back home. Thank goodness for the North-East Line! I am feeling quite happy these days. More critical and bitchy about a lot of other things, but happier hahhaha. Taking about resolutions, this is such a good relationship resolution written by one of me favourite blogger Heather Hunter.
16 hours into the new year and already I have broken my resolution to be on my all effective diet. I made my tortilla de patatas and pan con tomate for breakfast today.
Ladies & gents, I present to u my first Tortilla de patatas y pan con tomate
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
can we fast forward...
... this mundane and dull period of my life where everything is now dependent on if I get a job, or not. Okok, "or not" and "if" are not options, and it will happen. It's just WHEN?!
That's the big gazillion dollar question - WHEN WILL I GET A JOB? I am really sick of this waiting for a ripe moment. First when I came home in September, I was kinda down and while sending out at least 50 or so resumes in the few 6-8 weeks that I was job hunting, nothing came through. Well 2 opportunities did, but they weren't exactly what I was hoping for. Now I have something in the pipeline, actually, the ONLY thing in the pipeline and think I am: 1. counting me chicks before they hatch and 2. laying all my lays in one basket. (hmm the chicken and egg analogies are all pure coincidences) Second thing is, waiting for this freaking year end period of Yuletide cheer and Feliz Año Nuevo to end. This is the dreaded period for the unemployed cos everyone is holding back from quitting the jobs that they drag their feet to, and everyone is just in a holiday mood to even think about recruitment.
Going back to the UK for graduation was a good move, mostly good I think. I had a proper chance to say goodbye. I had to mentally say goodbye to the place that I though I might possibly spend another 2-3 years there. I really like the lifestyle. I like that people are well-mannered. Weather is always chilly. Supermarkets are fantastic. And a sense of freedom - liberation that I am on my own, and I can do things at my own time.
My arrival at Heathrow and going into Cafe Nero for a quick cuppa made me feel like I never left the UK. And now that I am back, I feel like I never left Singapore.
I said bye to S, in person. He even admitted that he was an ass to me (those weren't his exact words but now that he is an ex-, who cares?) It was an amicable, albeit sad, farewell. Yes we've had many good times together, but at the end of the day, we are really two very different people, who want very different things in our lives right now. But what he made me realise was that I do want someone. Before him I has quite happy on my own, minding my own business, happy to just hang out with family and friends. Now I realise that I do perhaps want someone i can really share my life with, and who wants me to share his life with him.
Though, a more pressing and "keeps me awake at night" thought is that after 1.5 years, I really need to work. Going back, and seeing that many of my friends were either employed or got jobs really scared the shit out of me.
Where's the big "FAST FORWARD" button on me life that gets to the good part? I know that panicking doesn't really help with anything. It only exacerbates the big "Where's the big fast forward button"deep, sinking feeling. The days are just crawling. I just want to be gainfully employed! - Geez, never thought I'll say that!
*Follow-up on Spain and UK graduation in posts to come. I just need to rant a bit about my perfect life.
That's the big gazillion dollar question - WHEN WILL I GET A JOB? I am really sick of this waiting for a ripe moment. First when I came home in September, I was kinda down and while sending out at least 50 or so resumes in the few 6-8 weeks that I was job hunting, nothing came through. Well 2 opportunities did, but they weren't exactly what I was hoping for. Now I have something in the pipeline, actually, the ONLY thing in the pipeline and think I am: 1. counting me chicks before they hatch and 2. laying all my lays in one basket. (hmm the chicken and egg analogies are all pure coincidences) Second thing is, waiting for this freaking year end period of Yuletide cheer and Feliz Año Nuevo to end. This is the dreaded period for the unemployed cos everyone is holding back from quitting the jobs that they drag their feet to, and everyone is just in a holiday mood to even think about recruitment.
Going back to the UK for graduation was a good move, mostly good I think. I had a proper chance to say goodbye. I had to mentally say goodbye to the place that I though I might possibly spend another 2-3 years there. I really like the lifestyle. I like that people are well-mannered. Weather is always chilly. Supermarkets are fantastic. And a sense of freedom - liberation that I am on my own, and I can do things at my own time.
My arrival at Heathrow and going into Cafe Nero for a quick cuppa made me feel like I never left the UK. And now that I am back, I feel like I never left Singapore.
I said bye to S, in person. He even admitted that he was an ass to me (those weren't his exact words but now that he is an ex-, who cares?) It was an amicable, albeit sad, farewell. Yes we've had many good times together, but at the end of the day, we are really two very different people, who want very different things in our lives right now. But what he made me realise was that I do want someone. Before him I has quite happy on my own, minding my own business, happy to just hang out with family and friends. Now I realise that I do perhaps want someone i can really share my life with, and who wants me to share his life with him.
Though, a more pressing and "keeps me awake at night" thought is that after 1.5 years, I really need to work. Going back, and seeing that many of my friends were either employed or got jobs really scared the shit out of me.
Where's the big "FAST FORWARD" button on me life that gets to the good part? I know that panicking doesn't really help with anything. It only exacerbates the big "Where's the big fast forward button"deep, sinking feeling. The days are just crawling. I just want to be gainfully employed! - Geez, never thought I'll say that!
*Follow-up on Spain and UK graduation in posts to come. I just need to rant a bit about my perfect life.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
days two & three - Barcelona
Unbelievable. I woke up and my legs were cramping up like crazy. My calves hurt like hell and thighs too. And when I walk down stairs, my god, the pain is just unbelievable. Day three was a bit of a haze. I didn´t quite plan my route but had a general idea that I wanted to do Barri Gotic... and later, when I decided I had enough of Gothic buildings, decided to head for the neighbouring district of La Ribera.
The day started off at Starbucks. I ordered a latte only to get a look of confusion. Obviously when it says latte on the board, people still order by its Spanish term "cafe con leche" or coffee with milk. To be fair, not all Starbucks required the cafe con leche phrase. Anyway after that I headed for El Cangar near the Barcelona Cathedral. It was built in gothic style. And my word, it was simply impressive. As you know how gothic buildings are - tall, has a lot of columns, and all things made to make you feel small. And it did. I sat on the pews(?) what are those called again? Where the congregation sits??
Anyway after that I decided to do La Ribera, and according the guide book another church visit was in order. So I decided to just walk past and walked around aimlessly around Passeig El Born(the hip district with many bars and shops). But since I wasn´t quite in the mood to shop, nor was I hungry, decided to sit somewhere to get my bearings right. Then an old man came up to me and blabbered in Spanish or Catalun, don´t know which, cos I really have no idea what he was saying. Only like 30 seconds later, I realised the uncle was asking me if he could give me a kiss on the cheek!
*faint* how come the cute man I fancied on La Rambla never ask me if I wanted a kiss? And old uncles come up to me like that? And he wasn´t the first to throw me looks all day, the rest of the day old uncles were looking at me. I had to check my fly a few times thinking that they were staring at me cos my fly was undone. *Sigh* story of my life. Only attract old men.
Anyway after a few more rounds around the small tiny alleys, I decided maybe I should go to Museo Picasso. Picasso spent quite a fair bit of his time in Barcelona throughout his life. I never thought much of Picasso, since I didn´t quite like cubism. But from the trip to the Museum, realised that he could do fantastic traditional art too. And started out with classical training, only to move on to start cubism, and even revoluntionised ceramics. That wasn´t the only thing about Picasso, he was quite the casanova! Had so many women. Sigh, once again why is it so easy for men and so hard for women?
After that I decided to have lunch, had a fantastic lunch with tortilla - which I shall attempt to make when I get home. Then it was walking through Barri Gotic to La Rambla and I sat at Starbucks (my 2nd for the day) and rested for like close to 1 1/2 hours cos my feet and legs were hurting so much.
After that I decided to shop. Went to Zara, Mango, some other shops which I didn´t quite know the names. And remembered I had to make a trip to Sephora, which I have heard so much about but never been. And it was fantastic! If you can imagine a whole shop of makeup of all kinds. They even have laduree lip balm and dusting powder!
Then it was a slow walk back to the hotel. The room was much better last nite no more strange smells and no smoke smell. I was so knackered I actually slept in the clothes that I wore out all day and showered only this morning!!!! YIKES!
Tomorrow is my last day in Barcelona. Sigh, wished someone had come with me, so that we could have eaten our way through Barcelona through plates of tapas and I haven´t even tried cava!
The day started off at Starbucks. I ordered a latte only to get a look of confusion. Obviously when it says latte on the board, people still order by its Spanish term "cafe con leche" or coffee with milk. To be fair, not all Starbucks required the cafe con leche phrase. Anyway after that I headed for El Cangar near the Barcelona Cathedral. It was built in gothic style. And my word, it was simply impressive. As you know how gothic buildings are - tall, has a lot of columns, and all things made to make you feel small. And it did. I sat on the pews(?) what are those called again? Where the congregation sits??
Anyway after that I decided to do La Ribera, and according the guide book another church visit was in order. So I decided to just walk past and walked around aimlessly around Passeig El Born(the hip district with many bars and shops). But since I wasn´t quite in the mood to shop, nor was I hungry, decided to sit somewhere to get my bearings right. Then an old man came up to me and blabbered in Spanish or Catalun, don´t know which, cos I really have no idea what he was saying. Only like 30 seconds later, I realised the uncle was asking me if he could give me a kiss on the cheek!
*faint* how come the cute man I fancied on La Rambla never ask me if I wanted a kiss? And old uncles come up to me like that? And he wasn´t the first to throw me looks all day, the rest of the day old uncles were looking at me. I had to check my fly a few times thinking that they were staring at me cos my fly was undone. *Sigh* story of my life. Only attract old men.
Anyway after a few more rounds around the small tiny alleys, I decided maybe I should go to Museo Picasso. Picasso spent quite a fair bit of his time in Barcelona throughout his life. I never thought much of Picasso, since I didn´t quite like cubism. But from the trip to the Museum, realised that he could do fantastic traditional art too. And started out with classical training, only to move on to start cubism, and even revoluntionised ceramics. That wasn´t the only thing about Picasso, he was quite the casanova! Had so many women. Sigh, once again why is it so easy for men and so hard for women?
After that I decided to have lunch, had a fantastic lunch with tortilla - which I shall attempt to make when I get home. Then it was walking through Barri Gotic to La Rambla and I sat at Starbucks (my 2nd for the day) and rested for like close to 1 1/2 hours cos my feet and legs were hurting so much.
After that I decided to shop. Went to Zara, Mango, some other shops which I didn´t quite know the names. And remembered I had to make a trip to Sephora, which I have heard so much about but never been. And it was fantastic! If you can imagine a whole shop of makeup of all kinds. They even have laduree lip balm and dusting powder!
Then it was a slow walk back to the hotel. The room was much better last nite no more strange smells and no smoke smell. I was so knackered I actually slept in the clothes that I wore out all day and showered only this morning!!!! YIKES!
Tomorrow is my last day in Barcelona. Sigh, wished someone had come with me, so that we could have eaten our way through Barcelona through plates of tapas and I haven´t even tried cava!
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
day one - barcelona
It was a rather cold and wet weekend in the UK. Strong winds, heck I was queuing up for the fantastic 418 when I saw some white stuff pelting on the coat of this lady before me, small pieces of ice - hail!
Anyway it was cold, wet and to be honest, when Monday came, I was almost glad I was getting out of the UK. The flight to Barcelona was easy enough. But the thing was, I wasn´t mentally prepared for Barcelona. (Simi mentally prepared, holiday, holiday lah... I can hear some people´s thoughts as I type). Well, seeing that I am an ENTJ (MBTI). I kinda need everything planned down to almost the dot before I feel secure and safe to venture into the big bad world. But this trip, I wasn´t very enthusiastic at the start so there were so many things I didn´t even prepare for this trip, not even reading about what´s there to see at Barcelona. Not till I was on board EZY6025 TO Barcelona.
By the time I got to Barcelona, I had a bit of a shock. Firstly, no one really spoke English. So I had to recall my very bad Spanish, from my 3 months of Spanish lessons some 5 years ago.* Upon reaching city centre, I somehow instinctively headed for the shopping street. hahahhaha
Anyway I am staying at Hostal Girona, this rather dodgey looking old converted hotel. The owner put me in this room that looked like some poor artiste had stayed in and decided it was too shabby even for him to stay in it. And yours truely stayed in it.
Anyway the room had a shower, but no toilet. I mean, in what parallel universe is Barcelona in? No toilet but has a shower? The room gave me the creeps. Half the night I was up trying to cover my ears with my arms, and of cos my arms were numbed halfway. So I was up half the night, and watched TV. And came onto some cheesy porn channel. Yup, you heard it, porn. I mean all other channels were in Spanish, so it made no difference what channel I watched.
But what was hilarious was that there was a scene with a car chase, and this lady came out of the car in underwear and a satin robe. God knows why she was in her undies. She, apparently, went to her friend´s house. And her friend also came out in her undies and another silky robe. So anyway this friend of hers came out with a bat, and waited for the chaser (is that the right word?) And he (had to be a guy, right?) and she seduced him, then used the bat to hit him.
Just when I was wondering where was the porn in this, she went into the house where the first lady was resting, and I think there was some hot and happening after that. It HAD to be 2 women together. Obviously this porn is for men. I don´t understand the fascination with women together sex for men. Anyway I got bored, and it even put me to sleep. hahhaha
Anyway day one of Barcelona was just some getting my directions right. Day Two was when I set off to visit Temple of La Sagrada Familia by Antoni Gaudi. You know that massive church with huge towers (tallest one to be 173m) that´s still under construction? I was thinking who the hell is this Gaudi guy, and after looking at it I am now a Gaudi convert. He had a unique way of transposing designs from nature onto buildings and his design ideas were so innovative for his time, and even now.
I took the lift up and had to be at least 100m from ground. Only to find after going down halfway the tower and back up to the lift top, that the man in the lift wouldn´t take us down in the lift. I had already done at least 100 steps of each 30cm in height. So apparently going down was something like 300 steps, seemed like 3,000 to me. By the end of it my legs were wobbly.
And my word, they hurt like hell today. My legs and my flat feet.
Anyway I was thoroughly impressed by Gaudi´s works and decided to visit another building he had done - La Pedrera. This supposed residential area that looked like it was carved out of a cave. Gaudi´s designs not only affected the exterior, it also made effective use of internal space, ergonomics and also made effective use of natural light. The house inside was so bright and cheery.
Then I walked down Passeig de Gracia which was supposedly the Orchard Road and ended up at Plaça Catalunya where all things happened. Of cos by then my feet were hurting, so I went back to my Hostal to ask for a change of room. The second room was better, but it stank of smoke. And I can´t open the windows. So my strategy was to go out for longer hours (i.e. blogging at an internet cafe) and then go home later.
* First proper sentence of Spanish that I muttered was ¿Donde esta Casa Mila? Which translates into Where is Casa Mila? Had to blog that cos the spanish keyboard has these funny keys like the upside down question mark¿ and ç and ñ and º and ª. hahhaha :)
K, 10 minutes left, I should go, feet hurting. More of days 2 and 3 later!
Anyway it was cold, wet and to be honest, when Monday came, I was almost glad I was getting out of the UK. The flight to Barcelona was easy enough. But the thing was, I wasn´t mentally prepared for Barcelona. (Simi mentally prepared, holiday, holiday lah... I can hear some people´s thoughts as I type). Well, seeing that I am an ENTJ (MBTI). I kinda need everything planned down to almost the dot before I feel secure and safe to venture into the big bad world. But this trip, I wasn´t very enthusiastic at the start so there were so many things I didn´t even prepare for this trip, not even reading about what´s there to see at Barcelona. Not till I was on board EZY6025 TO Barcelona.
By the time I got to Barcelona, I had a bit of a shock. Firstly, no one really spoke English. So I had to recall my very bad Spanish, from my 3 months of Spanish lessons some 5 years ago.* Upon reaching city centre, I somehow instinctively headed for the shopping street. hahahhaha
Anyway I am staying at Hostal Girona, this rather dodgey looking old converted hotel. The owner put me in this room that looked like some poor artiste had stayed in and decided it was too shabby even for him to stay in it. And yours truely stayed in it.
Anyway the room had a shower, but no toilet. I mean, in what parallel universe is Barcelona in? No toilet but has a shower? The room gave me the creeps. Half the night I was up trying to cover my ears with my arms, and of cos my arms were numbed halfway. So I was up half the night, and watched TV. And came onto some cheesy porn channel. Yup, you heard it, porn. I mean all other channels were in Spanish, so it made no difference what channel I watched.
But what was hilarious was that there was a scene with a car chase, and this lady came out of the car in underwear and a satin robe. God knows why she was in her undies. She, apparently, went to her friend´s house. And her friend also came out in her undies and another silky robe. So anyway this friend of hers came out with a bat, and waited for the chaser (is that the right word?) And he (had to be a guy, right?) and she seduced him, then used the bat to hit him.
Just when I was wondering where was the porn in this, she went into the house where the first lady was resting, and I think there was some hot and happening after that. It HAD to be 2 women together. Obviously this porn is for men. I don´t understand the fascination with women together sex for men. Anyway I got bored, and it even put me to sleep. hahhaha
Anyway day one of Barcelona was just some getting my directions right. Day Two was when I set off to visit Temple of La Sagrada Familia by Antoni Gaudi. You know that massive church with huge towers (tallest one to be 173m) that´s still under construction? I was thinking who the hell is this Gaudi guy, and after looking at it I am now a Gaudi convert. He had a unique way of transposing designs from nature onto buildings and his design ideas were so innovative for his time, and even now.
I took the lift up and had to be at least 100m from ground. Only to find after going down halfway the tower and back up to the lift top, that the man in the lift wouldn´t take us down in the lift. I had already done at least 100 steps of each 30cm in height. So apparently going down was something like 300 steps, seemed like 3,000 to me. By the end of it my legs were wobbly.
And my word, they hurt like hell today. My legs and my flat feet.
Anyway I was thoroughly impressed by Gaudi´s works and decided to visit another building he had done - La Pedrera. This supposed residential area that looked like it was carved out of a cave. Gaudi´s designs not only affected the exterior, it also made effective use of internal space, ergonomics and also made effective use of natural light. The house inside was so bright and cheery.
Then I walked down Passeig de Gracia which was supposedly the Orchard Road and ended up at Plaça Catalunya where all things happened. Of cos by then my feet were hurting, so I went back to my Hostal to ask for a change of room. The second room was better, but it stank of smoke. And I can´t open the windows. So my strategy was to go out for longer hours (i.e. blogging at an internet cafe) and then go home later.
* First proper sentence of Spanish that I muttered was ¿Donde esta Casa Mila? Which translates into Where is Casa Mila? Had to blog that cos the spanish keyboard has these funny keys like the upside down question mark¿ and ç and ñ and º and ª. hahhaha :)
K, 10 minutes left, I should go, feet hurting. More of days 2 and 3 later!
plantano is banana
DOH! how did I know that? Was famished yesterday and decided to get a dunkin donut and thought - hmmmm plantano, planta is ground level so plantano should be PEANUT butter, right? Of cos not, it is BANANA FLAVOURED!!!
Can die. I hate bananas.
So yes, you learn really fast. It´s such a shock to find that so many people don´t know English here, and they just speak Spanish or Catalun to you. Which is fine, but I have NO idea what it means. kekekekek
But this place is really nice, the weather is lovely, compared to the gales and hail that I got in Bath over the weekend. It´s actually warm. And my long coat is a bit too warm sometimes. I´ve some video of La Pedredra and Sangrada Familia, both masterpieces by Gaudi! I am a convert! His work is just amazing.
Was initially dreading this trip, but now that I am here, I am quite enjoying myself. Pix and all to come later. I should really get started. Today is Barri Gotic and Mercat de la something, cannot remember.
:)
Can die. I hate bananas.
So yes, you learn really fast. It´s such a shock to find that so many people don´t know English here, and they just speak Spanish or Catalun to you. Which is fine, but I have NO idea what it means. kekekekek
But this place is really nice, the weather is lovely, compared to the gales and hail that I got in Bath over the weekend. It´s actually warm. And my long coat is a bit too warm sometimes. I´ve some video of La Pedredra and Sangrada Familia, both masterpieces by Gaudi! I am a convert! His work is just amazing.
Was initially dreading this trip, but now that I am here, I am quite enjoying myself. Pix and all to come later. I should really get started. Today is Barri Gotic and Mercat de la something, cannot remember.
:)
Saturday, December 01, 2007
oh Bath, I've missed you
It's been a long ride here. And while the clatter, noise, heat, humidity and bad English are still freshly imprinted at the back of my mind, I just cannot believe that I am back here, in Bath.
The first sight at Heathrow, that reminded me of UK was Cafe Nero. It's like I never left.
So here I am. Back in Bath. The air is crisp and cold, blustery wind and the Bath Christmas Market has just opened. Somehow it feels more Christmasy here, with the cold and lights all up. Despite our tropical Christmas light show in Orchard Road, it is not the same.
But if feels different though, cos somehow friends are no longer around and Bath, while it holds its attraction still, is a different place now.
And of cos it gets dark at 4pm. The weather looks gorgeous and I shld really go. It's 11.25
The first sight at Heathrow, that reminded me of UK was Cafe Nero. It's like I never left.
So here I am. Back in Bath. The air is crisp and cold, blustery wind and the Bath Christmas Market has just opened. Somehow it feels more Christmasy here, with the cold and lights all up. Despite our tropical Christmas light show in Orchard Road, it is not the same.
But if feels different though, cos somehow friends are no longer around and Bath, while it holds its attraction still, is a different place now.
And of cos it gets dark at 4pm. The weather looks gorgeous and I shld really go. It's 11.25
Thursday, November 22, 2007
papa don't preach
Just had a conversation with a long-time friend, and I guess I am quite easily irritated and ultra sensitive these days. But I just feel that sometimes advice is given to me when I am not exactly asking for them. Of cos advice is given with good intention, but sometimes I feel that while she is entitled to her own opinion, when I air mine, I am just unreasonable. Or that my thoughts are just random and just completely out of whack.
Can help think that if I were to talk about Polly to this friend, I'll get a whole long list of eyes rolling, comments of "Oh, you shouldn't think this way etc etc" or "You are just ridiculous" and then all talks about reconciliation - which to be honest, I don't really care to do with Polly at this point in my life.
I don't know, but maybe not everyone thinks alike? While you're entitled to your opinion, so am I. Neither is right. Nor is everyone born positive - me as living proof. This whole issue just brings to mind about the book I was reading about on being assertive - everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Recently been very down with job situation. I know it's not personal, but I just can't help feel that my lucky break is not ever going to come. (Contrary to earlier post) Sure it's end of the year and people are holding onto their jobs and not leaving. But when the new year comes and I still don't get that call for interviews, what's my excuse then?
The only positive thing now is that I am spending so much time at home with the rascals. Today while nursing a really bad headache, I was taking a nap when B1 was about to go home, he came to me and gave me a kiss. Isn't he the angel?
So here they are - my favourites at their best.
Can help think that if I were to talk about Polly to this friend, I'll get a whole long list of eyes rolling, comments of "Oh, you shouldn't think this way etc etc" or "You are just ridiculous" and then all talks about reconciliation - which to be honest, I don't really care to do with Polly at this point in my life.
I don't know, but maybe not everyone thinks alike? While you're entitled to your opinion, so am I. Neither is right. Nor is everyone born positive - me as living proof. This whole issue just brings to mind about the book I was reading about on being assertive - everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Recently been very down with job situation. I know it's not personal, but I just can't help feel that my lucky break is not ever going to come. (Contrary to earlier post) Sure it's end of the year and people are holding onto their jobs and not leaving. But when the new year comes and I still don't get that call for interviews, what's my excuse then?
The only positive thing now is that I am spending so much time at home with the rascals. Today while nursing a really bad headache, I was taking a nap when B1 was about to go home, he came to me and gave me a kiss. Isn't he the angel?
So here they are - my favourites at their best.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Seriously, why do so many people suck at their jobs...
...and here I am, I cant find one that pays me a decent wage. Since my pay has been so badly suppressed by the last co. I worked for, I can't asked for much, and I know that my asking, isn't unreasonable for someone with my experience. Since job searching and just listening to others, I can tell you, there are so many people who don't know how to do their jobs. Within seconds, I can easily summarised what they are doing wrong and just tell them to improve!
Maybe I suck at interviews. Or it's just my darn arse luck with jobsearching. (very high probability, that one, the arse luck I mean)
Came across this on the jobsdb.com website. By this guy called David Freeman. Have edited some rather obvious points. Here goes:
Maybe I suck at interviews. Or it's just my darn arse luck with jobsearching. (very high probability, that one, the arse luck I mean)
Came across this on the jobsdb.com website. By this guy called David Freeman. Have edited some rather obvious points. Here goes:
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